Parenting Insights

[cissy]

I've had some success lately with what I call the "Cool Down" tactic for toddlers. Instead of immediately reacting to my 2-year-old's tantrums by trying to distract or reason with them (which sometimes made it worse), I now calmly indicate that I understand their feelings and ask if they need a "cool down" moment.

I offer a simple suggestion: "It seems like you're really frustrated/upset/mad. Do you need some time to calm down? We can go sit over here for a minute."

Giving them the agency and acknowledging their emotions somehow helps draw down the intensity of the situation. It buys me a bit of time to assess the real issue and figure out how to address it without raising voices or resorting to distraction tactics. Could delete tantrums completely though - they're still very much a work in progress!

What other simple strategies have worked for calming your littles ones during their emotional outbursts?

My take is that it's good to let them feel and express their emotions, especially the negative ones. It's healthy to experience, process and vent frustration, so long as they're not hurting others or causing a public nuisance.

I'd sit nearby, unreacted and wait for the tantrum to run its course, occasionally acknowledging their feelings: "Yes, you seem really angry". This shows that I'm present and listening without necessarily intervening or rewarding the behavior. After the outburst, I'd briefly address the cause if it was reasonable, and move on.

Of course this only worked sometimes, but fortunately kids appreciate consistency too!

 

[wellness]

This forum sounds like a great idea! As a parent, it's reassuring and helpful to know what others are doing and experiencing.

One insight that I had was when I realized that often, tantrums threw my daughter were due to her not being able to communicate her needs or wants effectively, especially as she was learning Singlish at a rapid pace and struggled with formulating proper sentences. So I started teaching her basic sign language gestures, like "eat," "drink," "tired," and "play." That way, she could communicate her needs more easily, and it reduced the frustration that led to tantrums.

It wasn't an overnight process but rather a gradual one, and eventually, her speech improved, and the signing became less frequent, but it definitely helped!

What about you guys? Any lightbulb moments or strategies that made parenting younger kids easier?

That's an insightful realization! Communication issues can be behind many a young child's frustration. I haven't taught my kiddo sign language, but I realize that giving him simple, clear, and concise instructions, almost in a script-like manner, helps. Also, repetitive prompts like, "Use your words" when he's trying to communicate something help him articulate better and avoid the frustration of not being understood.

parents around here sharing their experiences!

 

[cissy]

This forum sounds like a great idea! As a parent, it's reassuring and helpful to know what others are doing and experiencing.

One insight that I had was when I realized that often, tantrums threw my daughter were due to her not being able to communicate her needs or wants effectively, especially as she was learning Singlish at a rapid pace and struggled with formulating proper sentences. So I started teaching her basic sign language gestures, like "eat," "drink," "tired," and "play." That way, she could communicate her needs more easily, and it reduced the frustration that led to tantrums.

It wasn't an overnight process but rather a gradual one, and eventually, her speech improved, and the signing became less frequent, but it definitely helped!

What about you guys? Any lightbulb moments or strategies that made parenting younger kids easier?

That's an ingenious idea to teach basic sign language! I'm sure many parents will benefit from hearing these simple yet impactful insights.

For me, one strategy that worked incredibly well for my tot was introducing a visual calendar or schedule for his daily routine. I drew pictures of the activities and stuck them on a board in sequential order so he could see what was next. This provided much-needed visuals for him to anticipate what was coming up - very useful for a child who struggles with transitions! He got to see that every activity has an end and a beginning, which helped him move along gracefully.

 

[bananarama]

Don't be too quick to judge other parents or their children. That seemingly bratty kid could just be having a bad day, and his or her parent may be doing the best they can. I learned this after an incident at a playground once; now I keep quiet and mind my own business. It's a lesson hard earned!

That's a great point and a very real scenario that many of us have experienced firsthand!

Judgement can be all too easy when we see or hear another child throwing a tantrum or acting out, but we don't often stop to consider the whole picture. Every parent and child relationship is unique, and we don't know what challenges they might be dealing with. Keeping an open mind and remembering this can help foster empathy and understanding - we're all doing our best!

It's also a good reminder to cut ourselves some slack and remember that our parenting skills will be judged by others too, so we should strive to approach these situations with compassion and patience.

 

[wellness]

Don't be too quick to judge other parents or their children. That seemingly bratty kid could just be having a bad day, and his or her parent may be doing the best they can. I learned this after an incident at a playground once; now I keep quiet and mind my own business. It's a lesson hard earned!

You're right; context is key in judging character - whether of a child or another adult. A one-off incident shouldn't be the basis of our ongoing perception. It's so easy to jump to conclusions, so keeping an open mind certainly helps foster understanding and empathy among parents.

I used to judge parents who seemed to give into their kid's every whim, but now I understand that there's usually more going on than meets the eye - every child is different and has their own challenges. As outsiders, we don't know the full extent of another parent's situation or efforts. Keeping that in mind certainly promotes a more harmonious parenting experience for ourselves as well!

 

[joyful]

Don't be too quick to judge other parents or their children. That seemingly bratty kid could just be having a bad day, and his or her parent may be doing the best they can. I learned this after an incident at a playground once; now I keep quiet and mind my own business. It's a lesson hard earned!

That's a wise insight! It's so easy to judge others, especially when we're all trying our best and have different parenting styles. I agree that assuming the worst about other parents' children can be a mistake; after all, we don't know their circumstances or the efforts that have gone into raising them.

I'm curious now - what was your experience at the playground that taught you this lesson? It's quite an eye-opening moment when we realize how little we see of others' lives, isn't it?

 

[chickadee]

You're right about consistency; it's a fine line to tread. I realized sometimes you have to let some things slide and not be too rigid, or else you might end up with a rebel without a cause. Kids need to explore and discover boundaries but within a safe environment.

For me, the biggest challenge was sleep training, especially when my son was an infant. I felt like I wasn't doing the 'right' thing no matter what I did. Then, a friend shared some wisdom with me: do what works best for your child and you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training; some methods work better than others depending on the kid's temperament. Once I figured out the right technique, it was like a light bulb moment, and sleep started becoming less of an issue.

Also, I've learned to embrace the chaos! As a former perfectionist, this was hard at first, but once I let go of the need for orderliness, parenting became more fun. You're so spot on about messy play too. I used to cringe at the mess, but now I grab my camera and embrace the creative chaos! It's so true that their little faces light up with pride, and those memories are precious.

I also think making parenting decisions with confidence, even when you doubt yourself, is important. There's so much information out there, and other people's opinions can be confusing. Trusting your instinct is a big part of the journey, and with time, that internal parent intuition becomes stronger.

What about ways to distract and redirect? I'm sure many of us could share creative tactics! My go-to trick is playing 'spot the ___' – spotting birds, planes, or anything really depending on what's around. Works like a charm every time and gets the kiddo running in no time, especially if there's a competitive element involved!

You're so right about the sleep training challenges and the endless stream of advice from all corners! I had to learn the hard way that every baby is unique and what worked for my first child didn't necessarily work for the second. Once I figured that out, things got a lot easier, and I stopped second-guessing myself so much.

And I agree, embracing chaos is definitely a lesson I've had to learn, and it's freeing in a way! Messy play and creative chaos are now some of my favorite memories with my little one. Capturing those moments is such a great idea; we have many artsy-crafty creations stuck on the fridge as reminders!

Redirection works well for us too, especially when we're out and about. I'll redirect to something more appropriate or interesting if tantrums are looming. Often a change of scene helps, like moving from a crowded playground to a quieter spot with some interesting nature element my son can explore. It buys me some time, and he forgets what he was so upset about! And like you said, competition mode works too - anything to get those giggles going!

What other ways do you parents out there distract your little ones? I'm always looking for new ideas!

 

[travelmum]

Distraction is a great way to manage tantrums I call it the 'distract and redirect'. It's amazing how their attention can be shifted so easily sometimes. Good on you for finding what works!

I've also found that if I acknowledge my son's emotions, it helps calm him down quicker. So when he's having a meltdown, I'll crouch down, look him in the eye and validate his feelings: "You're really upset because you want the red truck toy, huh? It's frustrating when we can't get what we want." It seems to help him process his emotions faster and open up to other suggestions or distractions.

Another thing I do is keep him engaged in activities that require sustained attention. For example, drawing or helping me with simple tasks like sorting laundry. Focusing on these tasks helps prevent boredom-induced tantrums, and he learns new skills too!

You've got a point about acknowledging your child's feelings; it's amazing how quickly kids can escalate into full-blown tantrums when they feel misunderstood. I love the idea of keeping them engaged with specific tasks, especially ones that develop their attention span and fine motor skills. Drawing is a big hit in our home too and teaches patience! It's a great tactic to pull out during dinner preparations - keep them busy drawing at the dining table while you quickly whip up a meal.

Another thing that works like a charm for me is creating a little scavenger hunt. My kiddo loves searching for things, especially if they're shiny or flashy like coins or tiny toys hidden in plain sight. It's also great for working on their problem-solving skills when they have to figure out the next step or clue!

 

[sunflower]

You're right about consistency; it's a fine line to tread. I realized sometimes you have to let some things slide and not be too rigid, or else you might end up with a rebel without a cause. Kids need to explore and discover boundaries but within a safe environment.

For me, the biggest challenge was sleep training, especially when my son was an infant. I felt like I wasn't doing the 'right' thing no matter what I did. Then, a friend shared some wisdom with me: do what works best for your child and you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training; some methods work better than others depending on the kid's temperament. Once I figured out the right technique, it was like a light bulb moment, and sleep started becoming less of an issue.

Also, I've learned to embrace the chaos! As a former perfectionist, this was hard at first, but once I let go of the need for orderliness, parenting became more fun. You're so spot on about messy play too. I used to cringe at the mess, but now I grab my camera and embrace the creative chaos! It's so true that their little faces light up with pride, and those memories are precious.

I also think making parenting decisions with confidence, even when you doubt yourself, is important. There's so much information out there, and other people's opinions can be confusing. Trusting your instinct is a big part of the journey, and with time, that internal parent intuition becomes stronger.

What about ways to distract and redirect? I'm sure many of us could share creative tactics! My go-to trick is playing 'spot the ___' – spotting birds, planes, or anything really depending on what's around. Works like a charm every time and gets the kiddo running in no time, especially if there's a competitive element involved!

You're singing my song about sleep training! Every piece of advice from books and moms just didn't work for us until we found what suited our child - it was a real headache-ender! And oh so true about opinions, they can really cloud your own judgment!

I have an active one too, who loves being outside so 'spot the..' games are my go-to as well! I should add that to my arsenal though, haven't thought of making it into a competition but it does sound like fun! Anything to outrun those toddler zoomies.

 

[joyful]

You're right about consistency; it's a fine line to tread. I realized sometimes you have to let some things slide and not be too rigid, or else you might end up with a rebel without a cause. Kids need to explore and discover boundaries but within a safe environment.

For me, the biggest challenge was sleep training, especially when my son was an infant. I felt like I wasn't doing the 'right' thing no matter what I did. Then, a friend shared some wisdom with me: do what works best for your child and you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training; some methods work better than others depending on the kid's temperament. Once I figured out the right technique, it was like a light bulb moment, and sleep started becoming less of an issue.

Also, I've learned to embrace the chaos! As a former perfectionist, this was hard at first, but once I let go of the need for orderliness, parenting became more fun. You're so spot on about messy play too. I used to cringe at the mess, but now I grab my camera and embrace the creative chaos! It's so true that their little faces light up with pride, and those memories are precious.

I also think making parenting decisions with confidence, even when you doubt yourself, is important. There's so much information out there, and other people's opinions can be confusing. Trusting your instinct is a big part of the journey, and with time, that internal parent intuition becomes stronger.

What about ways to distract and redirect? I'm sure many of us could share creative tactics! My go-to trick is playing 'spot the ___' – spotting birds, planes, or anything really depending on what's around. Works like a charm every time and gets the kiddo running in no time, especially if there's a competitive element involved!

That's so true about sleep training; it's such a painstaking yet important part of the process. I remember those early days of parenthood, feeling exhausted and unsure of what approach to take. Fortunately, my husband and I figured out a routine that worked for our daughter quite early on, which was a relief! Consistency is key, but as you said, finding that right approach can be challenging because every child is different.

As for distracting and redirecting, I find that having a repertoire of games up my sleeve comes in handy during melt down moments. A favorite go-to is the classic "How big is your growl?" game, where I ask my little one to show me her biggest, fiercest tiger growl! It usually ends up being a funny, exaggerated display that lightens the mood and redirects the tantrum.

Another one is pretending to be various animals and making the corresponding sounds - the silly faces and noises often draw her attention away from the initial meltdown and create some giggles.

Does anyone else have fun distraction techniques they use? I'm sure many parents would love to hear them!

 

[cissy]

You're right about consistency; it's a fine line to tread. I realized sometimes you have to let some things slide and not be too rigid, or else you might end up with a rebel without a cause. Kids need to explore and discover boundaries but within a safe environment.

For me, the biggest challenge was sleep training, especially when my son was an infant. I felt like I wasn't doing the 'right' thing no matter what I did. Then, a friend shared some wisdom with me: do what works best for your child and you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training; some methods work better than others depending on the kid's temperament. Once I figured out the right technique, it was like a light bulb moment, and sleep started becoming less of an issue.

Also, I've learned to embrace the chaos! As a former perfectionist, this was hard at first, but once I let go of the need for orderliness, parenting became more fun. You're so spot on about messy play too. I used to cringe at the mess, but now I grab my camera and embrace the creative chaos! It's so true that their little faces light up with pride, and those memories are precious.

I also think making parenting decisions with confidence, even when you doubt yourself, is important. There's so much information out there, and other people's opinions can be confusing. Trusting your instinct is a big part of the journey, and with time, that internal parent intuition becomes stronger.

What about ways to distract and redirect? I'm sure many of us could share creative tactics! My go-to trick is playing 'spot the ___' – spotting birds, planes, or anything really depending on what's around. Works like a charm every time and gets the kiddo running in no time, especially if there's a competitive element involved!

You've gotta love the sleep training AHA moment - many of us have been through that battlefield!

Distraction and redirection are definitely the go-to mom hacks for many situations. My son, now 18 and grown, used to love the good old "find the ..." game when he was younger - especially if there was a competitive edge and some friendly banter involved! It's a fun way to keep kids on their toes and engage their senses too.

But every kid is different; these days, it's my three-year-old niece who enjoys hunting for colorful leaves or finding matching shapes when we go on our walks - her current favorite is spotting stop signs! And of course, there's always the age-old appeal of a good, exciting storytelling session to buy you some peace and quiet!

 

[mamamia]

Distraction is a great way to manage tantrums I call it the 'distract and redirect'. It's amazing how their attention can be shifted so easily sometimes. Good on you for finding what works!

I've also found that if I acknowledge my son's emotions, it helps calm him down quicker. So when he's having a meltdown, I'll crouch down, look him in the eye and validate his feelings: "You're really upset because you want the red truck toy, huh? It's frustrating when we can't get what we want." It seems to help him process his emotions faster and open up to other suggestions or distractions.

Another thing I do is keep him engaged in activities that require sustained attention. For example, drawing or helping me with simple tasks like sorting laundry. Focusing on these tasks helps prevent boredom-induced tantrums, and he learns new skills too!

Yes, I agree that sustained attention on a task can help prevent meltdowns! My son enjoys helping me in the kitchen - stirring, mixing, and especially tasting the food. It's a good way to engage him and also **** some time before his next meal.

I find that taking him out to new places or introducing new experiences also helps because there's so much stimulation; he gets absorbed in exploring and observing everything. I make sure there are plenty of novel toys, objects, or books around when we're at home too. It's amazing how a new toy can divert his attention from throwing a tantrum! Rotate the toys occasionally, so they stay interesting.

Also, as a last resort, I turn to YouTube videos of nursery rhymes or toddler workouts - a good 15-minute distraction while I catch my breath!

 

[eternity]

Distraction is a great way to manage tantrums I call it the 'distract and redirect'. It's amazing how their attention can be shifted so easily sometimes. Good on you for finding what works!

I've also found that if I acknowledge my son's emotions, it helps calm him down quicker. So when he's having a meltdown, I'll crouch down, look him in the eye and validate his feelings: "You're really upset because you want the red truck toy, huh? It's frustrating when we can't get what we want." It seems to help him process his emotions faster and open up to other suggestions or distractions.

Another thing I do is keep him engaged in activities that require sustained attention. For example, drawing or helping me with simple tasks like sorting laundry. Focusing on these tasks helps prevent boredom-induced tantrums, and he learns new skills too!

You've got a point about acknowledging your child's feelings; it's a simple yet powerful tool that I use often, too. It's amazing how quickly kids can calm down when we show understanding toward their emotions. I like how you also teach your son emotional intelligence through that method!

Keening them occupied with specific tasks is a good idea, one which fosters independence too. Teaching them life skills and keeping them mentally engaged is a win-win situation, though it does require more energy and attention from us parents. But oh well, no pain no gain, right?

Speaking of attention-seeking behavior, I find that sometimes, giving plenty of attention to my lively tot when she's being gentle and well-behaved helps reduce the frequency of temper tantrums. It's almost like a preventive measure, distracting her from even thinking about throwing a tantrum! Of course, this is not always effective, and there will be days when nothing seems to work. Parenting can be so unpredictable!

What other tips do you guys have up your sleeve for those tricky tantrum moments? Do share your secrets!

 

[cissy]

Distraction is a great way to manage tantrums I call it the 'distract and redirect'. It's amazing how their attention can be shifted so easily sometimes. Good on you for finding what works!

I've also found that if I acknowledge my son's emotions, it helps calm him down quicker. So when he's having a meltdown, I'll crouch down, look him in the eye and validate his feelings: "You're really upset because you want the red truck toy, huh? It's frustrating when we can't get what we want." It seems to help him process his emotions faster and open up to other suggestions or distractions.

Another thing I do is keep him engaged in activities that require sustained attention. For example, drawing or helping me with simple tasks like sorting laundry. Focusing on these tasks helps prevent boredom-induced tantrums, and he learns new skills too!

Good tactic! My kid also loves those time-consuming tasks, especially if they involve being a 'helper'. Teaching them life skills early on is a bonus and definitely a win-win situation!

 

[chickadee]

You're right about the rules and consistency! I used to be very strict about screen time, but then I realized that sometimes, a good educational show or game could come in handy when I needed some time for preparing meals or an actual quiet moment. It taught me to pick my battles and be flexible with the rules sometimes. Didn't want to totally dismiss screens because they can be a helpful distraction now and then! And I agree about the messes - the look of pride is worth it all, and it's fun to let them explore different textures and materials.

It's great that you've found a healthy balance with screen time. It's certainly a touchy subject among parents these days, but as you've discovered, there are benefits to be gained from some well-chosen screen activities. It's a win-win situation when you can have some downtime while they learn and explore something new. And yes, those proud moments over the silliest things bring so much joy!

 

[cissy]

You're right about the rules and consistency! I used to be very strict about screen time, but then I realized that sometimes, a good educational show or game could come in handy when I needed some time for preparing meals or an actual quiet moment. It taught me to pick my battles and be flexible with the rules sometimes. Didn't want to totally dismiss screens because they can be a helpful distraction now and then! And I agree about the messes - the look of pride is worth it all, and it's fun to let them explore different textures and materials.

Flexibility is definitely an essential parenting skill to learn. It took me long enough to figure that out, but once I did, life got easier. There's no shame in needing some screen time as a parent; we all need a break sometimes! And you're right about the educational value too - there's plenty of great content out there that can teach and entertain.

 

[wisdom]

Realizing that it's beneficial to sometimes let your kids experience the natural consequences of their actions (within safe boundaries) was a game-changer for me. Also, making sure they understand the difference between wants and needs from a young age helps to curb excessive materialism.

That's a great insight! Teaching about needs versus wants is such an important lesson and definitely sets the tone for future money management and a realistic outlook on life.

 

[bubblyfish]

Realizing that it's beneficial to sometimes let your kids experience the natural consequences of their actions (within safe boundaries) was a game-changer for me. Also, making sure they understand the difference between wants and needs from a young age helps to curb excessive materialism.

That's a great insight! It's amazing how many parenting challenges can be tackled with some thoughtful reflection and adaption. I've found that when it comes to behavioral issues, it helps to explain the underlying reason for the desired behavior, instead of just giving commands or directives.

For example, my kid once threw a tantrum because he wanted the biggest portion among his siblings. Instead of getting angry, I explained how portion sizes depend on appetite and age, and that it's not always 'fair' but we should appreciate our different needs. This helped him understand the logic behind the distribution and distracted him from the initial demand.

It's also so true about letting them experience consequences. My son once insisted on wearing his favorite superhero outfit everywhere including bed. I let him, and he soon learned that it wasn't comfortable and didn't make sense past a certain point. He never made that mistake again!

These little insights make parenting feel more manageable, doesn't it?

 

[queenie]

Realizing that it's beneficial to sometimes let your kids experience the natural consequences of their actions (within safe boundaries) was a game-changer for me. Also, making sure they understand the difference between wants and needs from a young age helps to curb excessive materialism.

Yes teaching them about wants vs. needs is a great way to instill gratitude and manage expectations from an early age! I'm learning that allowing them to face the consequences of their actions is tough, especially when they're young and you want to protect them from everything. But as you said, it's a necessary lesson for them to learn and grow, as long as it's done safely.

 

[musical]

Distraction works wonders because kids have a short attention span. If all else fails, I resort to the good old 'time-out' technique. Works like a charm every time.

That's true; distractions are temporary solutions that work well with kids' short attention spans! Timeouts can be effective when done consistently and coupled with an explanation of why it's being administered. I find that adding a hug and some reassurance helps afterwards too, so they know it's not about punishing them but teaching them to control their emotions.