Share Toddler Management Strategies

[travelmum]

Spoiler: Thread summary

To keep bedtime fun, engaging and less of a battle with toddlers, parents shared their successful strategies:

- Make bedtime fun: Create positive associations with books and calmness through fun games and special books only brought out at bedtime. This helps toddlers look forward to the routine. 
- Give choices: Allow your child to choose between options like two bedtime stories or different types of milk to empower them and make them feel in control.  
- Ignore problematic behavior: Often, the best response is no reaction at all. Toddlers soon learn that their tactics aren’t effective and either adapt or stop. 
- Offer a role: Give toddlers specific tasks or responsibilities like choosing the story or helping with pajama choices to make them feel important and included in the process. 

For handling delayed tactics like stalling and dawdling, parents shared these techniques:

- Acknowledge feelings & redirect: Let your child know you understand their emotions but firmly state it's still bedtime. Offer a brief distraction like a quick story or drink to shift their focus towards settling. 
- Warn of upcoming changes: Give a warning 10 minutes before turning off the lights, helping toddlers prepare mentally and adjust to the transition. 
- Offer limited choices after lights out: Present a simple either/or situation and follow through if they don't comply, maintaining control while giving some autonomy.

There's so many strategies to keeping on top of toddler behavior, but which ones actually work? Share your go-to techniques for successful toddler management here! Talk about methods that keep your patience in check and your sanity intact - what works best for you?

 

[wellness]

Successful toddler management for me has been all about creating a routine and sticking to it. I make sure our daily activities are consistent, which helps my toddlers feel secure and also makes it easier for them to cooperate since they know what's expected of them.

I also find that giving choices helps a lot - for instance, asking them if they want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt today gives them some autonomy and makes them feel involved in the decision-making process. It's important to keep things simple and offer only two options though, otherwise it might overwhelm them!

Another strategy that works well is distraction! If I see a melt down coming on, I quickly redirect their attention towards something else - like if they're upset about leaving the park, I'll excitedly point out an interesting car or a nearby dog and 9 times out of 10, it distracts them from their original tantrum.

Also, giving lots of positive reinforcement goes a long way! When my toddlers exhibit good behavior, I make sure to praise them a lot and reward them with cuddles and kisses, which encourages them to keep up the good habits.

 

[sunflower]

Great points! Routine has been such a lifesaver for us too - especially over the weekends when the temptation is to sleep in and let the day unfold organically. Keeping to our weekday schedule on Saturdays and Sundays makes life so much easier because, like you said, the kids know what's expected of them.

I love the redirection tactic - definitely going to try that! I've found that giving choices works well for getting my toddlers out of the house/car/anywhere promptly, but never thought about using distraction later in the day when things can get a bit crazy.

Positive reinforcement is something I need to work on. I tend to focus so much on what isn't going well . Your approach with cuddles and kisses sounds so much more effective !

 

[eternity]

Routines are super helpful for little ones! They like knowing what's expected of them, especially when it's consistent across weekdays and weekends.

Redirection has been a game-changer for us - it's amazing how much energy and patience it saves! And I agree that giving choices is a great way to get cooperation, especially at the beginning of the day.

I find that positive reinforcement is a great strategy but can be easily forgotten in the busyness of the moment. That's why I try to have a 'stockpile' of little ways to reward good behavior, like special cuddles and tickles, so that I'm prepared when the time comes. It makes the moments more meaningful too!

What other toddler management tactics do you find works well?

 

[wellness]

I totally agree - routines and consistency are key! And having a toolkit of tactics is a brilliant idea, especially using natural rewards like cuddles and fun.

I've also found that giving simple, clear instructions really helps, especially when I can give my toddler some warning before we have to leave the house or do something else that might be disruptive. For instance, telling them five minutes before we finish playing so they can mentally prepare for the change, then giving a two-minute and one-minute warning.

Also, having some high-value distraction toys or activities up your sleeve is handy when you're out and about - something new and exciting to redirect their attention. I keep a few in my bag for desperate moments! And of course, making sure they're well rested can make all the difference - easier said than done sometimes but being consistent with nap times really helps our household!

What other sneaky tactics do you have up your sleeve?

 

[wisdom]

Routines are a huge help for us too - especially first thing in the morning. We've started making sure we have a few 'special' books that only come out at bedtime, so there's something new and exciting to look forward to as part of the nighttime routine. It's an incentive to get pyjamas on, brush teeth etc without too much fuss!

Also, I find that giving my toddler a role or responsibility helps their behaviour - e.g. keeping an eye on the gate at the park or holding the shopping list when we're running errands. It makes them feel important and maybe distracts them from less desirable behaviours!

I've also learnt that sometimes it's best to just let things go and not make a big deal about the naughty behaviour - like leaving toys behind at the park, for instance. If I just say, oh dear, we'll have to leave our truck here, it seems less worthwhile misbehaving over!

 

[stargazer]

Making the bedtime routine exciting is a great tip! We also use special books but reserve them for when we really need some calm down time or a distraction. Love the idea of giving them a role, I'll have to try that one, thanks! And yes, often ignoring the behaviour is the best course of action - toddlers soon realise that they're not getting the reaction they crave and it diffuses the situation.

 

[eternity]

Making bedtime fun works wonders! It's a great way to create positive associations with books and calmness, which can then be drawn upon during the day too. Using special books sparingly is a great idea; it maintains their effectiveness and doesn't dilute their power!

Giving toddlers a role, especially one that makes them feel important or included, is a great tactic - they love to mimic and feel like they're part of the grown-up world.

Ignoring problematic behaviour is difficult but effective, and definitely something I've had to learn over the years! It's amazing how quickly kids realise their tactics aren't working and either adapt or stop - any attention is better than none!

 

[happyfeet]

That's a great point about making positive bedtime associations! And you're so right about giving toddlers a role, it really empowers them and lets them feel in control, which is so important for their development.

The tactic of ignoring problematic behaviour can really pay off - it's hard to resist giving attention when they throw tantrums, but like you say, they soon learn that those tactics aren't effective! I've found that this method also helps to reinforce the positive behaviours, as the toddler seeks approval and realises the good deeds get noticed.

What other strategies does everyone else use to keep bedtime fun and engaging without letting it become a daily battle of wills? And are there any specific techniques for when the stubbornness sets in? I'm keen to hear more ideas!

 

[luciana]

Creating positive associations is key! We use a sticker reward chart - each night of good behaviour earns a sticker and if they get a full week, we do some kind of fun outing or activity as a special reward. It's amazing how motivated toddlers are by the simple promise of a fun outing!

Also, giving them choices at every step helps avoid those power struggles; for instance, asking them to choose between two bedtime stories or letting them decide on pyjama options. It gives them a sense of control and makes them feel involved in the process instead of having decisions forced on them.

And I second the distraction method - a favourite fun game or toy that's only brought out at bedtime can help shift their focus away from resistance and make it something they look forward to.

Any strategies for handling delayed tactics, like stalling and dawdling when you know they're tired but they refuse to admit it? Those seem to be the most challenging nights!

 

[mamamia]

For delayed tactics, I've found some success in acknowledging the stall tactic and then redirecting with a simple, matter-of-fact statement.

"Oh, it looks like you're feeling chatty/hungry/thirsty right now. That's okay! But it's still bedtime. Let's get you into bed and once you're settled, I'll come back with that glass of water/snack/story."

Then, I follow through as promised—the distraction of a quick drink or story seems to help them forget the stalling tactic and shift their focus towards settling. If they continue to dawdle after that, I give them a warning, "It's almost bedtime, so let's finish this story/snack and then lights out."

I also try to keep any extra attention or engagement to a minimum, so they don't come to expect it as part of the bedtime routine. It's tough because you want to meet their emotional needs, but I find that keeping the interactions brief helps them learn that these stall tactics aren't successful and they might as well settle down!

 

[travelmum]

That's a great strategy—acknowledging their feelings and redirecting with a straightforward, no-nonsense approach. Following through on your promises is key, and keeping the interactions concise helps too. It's a tricky balance to manage their emotions while discouraging stall tactics, but it sounds like you've found a good middle ground!

What other strategies does everyone use to keep toddlers on track with bedtime or other routines?

 

[wisdom]

For managing bedtime stalling, I've found success with a two-step process. First, I give my toddler a heads-up ten minutes before turning off the lights. This mental prep time seems to help him adjust to the transition and he knows it's coming. Then, once the lights are off, I lie down with him for a couple of minutes and offer a very specific, matter-of-fact choice: either stay quiet or get out of bed, but either way, the story/song is done. If he stays quiet, great; if not, I keep the tone neutral and simply say it's time to get up and leave the room. This method respects his autonomy while setting clear boundaries, and the choices help him feel some control over the situation. It usually works like a charm!

 

[luciana]

That's a great strategy! Giving a timer-based warning before bed transitions really seems to help. I also like how you offer a choice after lights out but keep it straightforward and controlled - doesn't give them an opportunity to escalate demands, but still gives some sense of control over the situation. Will have to give that a go, thanks for sharing!

 

[wisdom]

Glad to hear my strategy works for you too! I've found that giving a warning for any upcoming change helps little ones prepare and makes the transition easier. And offering choices is so helpful in maintaining some sense of order - I'm all about giving them some control but within a controlled environment, especially at bedtime when everything can escalate quickly!

 

[lioness]

It's incredible how effective strategies like these can be. I'm all for anything that helps toddlers gain a sense of control over their environments - it's a huge help in avoiding meltdowns!

Offering a choice between two options is my go-to, especially when I know full well that I'll be asking them to do something they don't want to do anyway . I also find giving notice of what's coming next helps, especially if it's a change of activity or location - "We're leaving the park soon, so let's give the swings one more go!"

It's great to hear what works for others!

 

[sunnydays]

I'm a big fan of giving choices too - it's such a simple thing, but it gives them some autonomy and makes them feel so much more in control.

Giving advance notice of changes is a great strategy, especially for my little one who hates transitions. I usually give a 10-minute warning and then a 5-minute warning before we change activities or locations, and also try and give a very brief rationale e.g., 'We need to leave the park now because it's getting dark'.

I've also found that giving them a specific job or task can help too - like asking them to hold my keys or help me carry something. It makes them feel important and maybe distract them from any upcoming meltdown!

 

[doctormama]

These are some great tips!

I especially like the warnings before transitions - I've found that setting expectations really helps my toddler too, and also gives me time to mentally prepare for the upcoming change as well!

Giving them a job is a brilliant idea; I'll have to try that one. anything to avoid the meltdowns!

 

[eternity]

Setting expectations is such a great tip - and yes, giving warning about transitions helps prepare everyone for what's coming next!

Giving them a job definitely helps me too, especially when we're out shopping; it keeps them occupied and stops the 'I want that' tantrums because they're focused on their job. Anything to keep the peace, right?!

 

[travelmum]

Giving them a sense of responsibility definitely helps keep them focused and occupied! It's a win-win strategy because they feel useful and it saves us from unwanted tantrums - good one! We can never have too many peaceful strategies up our sleeves, so keep them coming!