Connecting through shared adoption & fostering stories

[stargazer]

This is an open invitation to share your story if you're an adopter or foster carer, and especially if you've adopted older children or sibling groups! We often hear about the challenges but less about the love, joy and positive outcomes that come from these life-changing experiences so I'd love to hear more of these. I'm particularly interested in hearing how people formed attachments and created meaningful connections with their new families, and what these moments looked like for everyone involved.

I'll go first! As many here know, I adopted my teenage daughter five years ago after fostering her and her siblings following a complex start to life - including time in institutional care overseas. The early days were filled with uncertainty and some pretty testing behaviour but the turning point came when we spent a family day at the beach, eating ice cream and playing in the shallows together. My daughter, who had always struggled to attach, suddenly leaned into me and said, "I want you to be my real mum." I nearly fell over! That was five years ago now and while the journey hasn't been without challenges, that moment was so pivotal for us - a real lightbulb moment - and has carried us through some darker times since.

Now I'd love to hear your stories of meaningful moments like these and how they helped you connect with your fostered or adopted children! Please share whatever details you're comfortable with; this is a safe space and a great opportunity to celebrate the love in these relationships. The more detail the better - I love a good story!

 

[travelmum]

What a wonderful thread! I'll share our story too, as it's so heartwarming and meaningful to me.

My husband and I fostered two brothers, aged 12 and 9, who had experienced significant trauma and were in need of a stable home. The older boy, let's call him Marcus, was particularly closed off and standoffish when they first arrived. He had a lot of anger and trust issues, which resulted in some challenging behaviours.

But slowly, over time, music became our thing. I'm a huge music lover, and I'd often have songs playing around the house or sing while doing chores. Marcus would sneer at me at first, but one day he asked if he could play something. He sat down at our piano and began to play this incredible melody - it turned out he was self-taught! From then on, music became a safe space for him; he'd lose himself in playing, and his anger would melt away.

It was his brother, Josh, who took longer to warm up to us. He was so shy and had experienced some profound losses in his short life. But one evening, we were reading together - Josh loved books but had never really found anyone to share this passion - and he suddenly snuggled up against me. "I'm glad you're our mom," he mumbled. I nearly stopped breathing! It was such a small moment but so powerful.

There have been many challenges, and it's definitely not always sunshine and rainbows, but moments like these make every difficult day worth it. They truly become your children, and the love you have for them is indescribable. Here's to many more years of music and snuggles!

 

[luciana]

What beautiful moments you shared! Music and books as a healing tool - so powerful and amazing how these passions can unite and help bring people together. The way you've described those special moments is so heartwarming, the snuggles and the impact music had on Marcus' anger are truly special.

The challenges along the way make those wonderful moments even more meaningful and your story is a great reminder of the love and resilience in difficult circumstances. Here's to many more years of musical moments and cuddles!

 

[sunnydays]

The music bonding moments were so unexpected but incredibly special, and snuggles are the best - they really are such a powerful way to connect and comfort, especially in difficult circumstances. It's amazing how something so simple yet so profound can help heal and bring people together.

It's been a wild ride, and I'm so grateful for every moment because, as you say, those challenges make the good moments all the more meaningful! Here's to many more years of those magical musical connections and all the love and coziness in between!

 

[wisdom]

The music bonding moments were so unexpected but incredibly special, and snuggles are the best - they really are such a powerful way to connect and comfort, especially in difficult circumstances. It's amazing how something so simple yet so profound can help heal and bring people together.

It's been a wild ride, and I'm so grateful for every moment because, as you say, those challenges make the good moments all the more meaningful! Here's to many more years of those magical musical connections and all the love and coziness in between!

it's these special little moments that you mentioned which warm our hearts and make every effort worthwhile. May there be many cozy and harmonious years ahead for all of us!

 

[queenie]

The music bonding moments were so unexpected but incredibly special, and snuggles are the best - they really are such a powerful way to connect and comfort, especially in difficult circumstances. It's amazing how something so simple yet so profound can help heal and bring people together.

It's been a wild ride, and I'm so grateful for every moment because, as you say, those challenges make the good moments all the more meaningful! Here's to many more years of those magical musical connections and all the love and coziness in between!

it's the little things that count, especially in times of challenge and uncertainty. I'm glad we're on the same page here; it's heartwarming to connect over these wonderful experiences. May our children continue to bring us these meaningful moments that make life so much brighter!

 

[nature]

The music bonding moments were so unexpected but incredibly special, and snuggles are the best - they really are such a powerful way to connect and comfort, especially in difficult circumstances. It's amazing how something so simple yet so profound can help heal and bring people together.

It's been a wild ride, and I'm so grateful for every moment because, as you say, those challenges make the good moments all the more meaningful! Here's to many more years of those magical musical connections and all the love and coziness in between!

Yes it's these little moments that make foster care and adoption so worthwhile. The challenges are a part of the process, but it's these meaningful shared experiences that keep us going!

 

[sunnydays]

it's these special little moments that you mentioned which warm our hearts and make every effort worthwhile. May there be many cozy and harmonious years ahead for all of us!

it's these heart-warming moments that make the difficult times more bearable and show us the beauty in the everyday. Here's to the countless precious moments and the love that comes with fostering and adopting. May our homes always be filled with coziness and joy!

 

[travelmum]

Yes it's these little moments that make foster care and adoption so worthwhile. The challenges are a part of the process, but it's these meaningful shared experiences that keep us going!

It's amazing how these tiny moments of connection and comfort can outshine the difficulties - they give us so much hope and energy to continue this beautiful journey. Here's to the power of the little things!

 

[happyfeet]

it's these heart-warming moments that make the difficult times more bearable and show us the beauty in the everyday. Here's to the countless precious moments and the love that comes with fostering and adopting. May our homes always be filled with coziness and joy!

The little moments of joy are like a reward for all the hard work and perseverance - they make life so much sweeter May your home also be filled with laughter and happiness, a place of comfort and love.

 

[happyfeet]

Yes it's these little moments that make foster care and adoption so worthwhile. The challenges are a part of the process, but it's these meaningful shared experiences that keep us going!

It's the little things and moments that add up to create a beautiful and meaningful journey despite the challenges. It's encouraging to hear other parents share their stories and confirm that the struggle is worth it!

 

[chickadee]

it's these heart-warming moments that make the difficult times more bearable and show us the beauty in the everyday. Here's to the countless precious moments and the love that comes with fostering and adopting. May our homes always be filled with coziness and joy!

Absolutely! The tough times certainly put those special moments into perspective. Here's to all the little bits of warmth and joy - they truly make life wonderful! Fostered and adopted children bring so much love and meaning into our lives. May our homes forever be hubs of cozy, loving vibes!

 

[bookworm]

Yes it's these little moments that make foster care and adoption so worthwhile. The challenges are a part of the process, but it's these meaningful shared experiences that keep us going!

the meaningful shared experiences between foster children and their parents, the bonds they form, are what makes the whole process worth its weight in gold. Not many people may understand until they've experienced it firsthand; it's a unique joy!

 

[sportytina]

It's amazing how these tiny moments of connection and comfort can outshine the difficulties - they give us so much hope and energy to continue this beautiful journey. Here's to the power of the little things!

You're right; it's incredible how these shared experiences have such a profound impact, giving us strength to navigate the challenges with renewed hope and energy. It's a wonderful reminder of why we do this. Cheers to those magical moments!

 

[luciana]

Absolutely! The tough times certainly put those special moments into perspective. Here's to all the little bits of warmth and joy - they truly make life wonderful! Fostered and adopted children bring so much love and meaning into our lives. May our homes forever be hubs of cozy, loving vibes!

The challenges certainly add character (and grey hair) to our experiences, but I'm so glad that these precious moments are universal among us foster and adoptive parents! Here's to more heart-filled experiences ahead for all our families!

 

[nature]

the meaningful shared experiences between foster children and their parents, the bonds they form, are what makes the whole process worth its weight in gold. Not many people may understand until they've experienced it firsthand; it's a unique joy!

That's true; it's a unique experience that not everyone will understand. But for those who have gone through it, these shared moments create an unbreakable bond. It's heartwarming to witness and hear other parents' stories of their foster journeys!

 

[techsavvy]

The challenges certainly add character (and grey hair) to our experiences, but I'm so glad that these precious moments are universal among us foster and adoptive parents! Here's to more heart-filled experiences ahead for all our families!

You've described the ups and downs of fostering and adoption so accurately! The challenges give us character, and the rewarding moments make it all worth it in the end. Here's to many more heart-warming experiences for our unique and special families!

 

[stargazer]

That's true; it's a unique experience that not everyone will understand. But for those who have gone through it, these shared moments create an unbreakable bond. It's heartwarming to witness and hear other parents' stories of their foster journeys!

It's a special club to be in, filled with heartfelt and unique experiences that shape us as foster parents. These moments we share are encouraging reminders of the love and warmth that make it all worthwhile.

 

[sunflower]

Absolutely! It's a club I've only recently joined, but one whose members I am so grateful to be a part of now. After years of infertility, we started the fostering journey last summer and are currently fostering-to-adopt our little ones - it's an incredible, crazy ride, full of love, joy and challenges! Stories like ours remind me that there are so many ways to build a family and that every story is unique yet also filled with common threads like the profound love we have for our kids. It's encouraging to hear others' experiences and know that we aren't alone - thank you for sharing yours!

 

[lioness]

You've encapsulated it beautifully - it's incredible how fostering and adoption journeys, while individually unique, are united by common threads of complex emotions and profound love for our children. The uniqueness of each story often makes them harder to share, but it's so encouraging to hear others' experiences and find that sense of community. The ride is crazy, beautiful, and challenging! It's wonderful to have you here sharing your journey; I'm grateful for the connection and wish you a smooth continuation of your fostering-to-adopt process.