Unsure what to do? Just ask

[wisdom]

'Hi everyone, this thread is here for you if you're feeling unsure about any aspect of motherhood and need some help deciding what to do. Have you found yourself in a tricky situation and not sure which path to take? Post your scenario here and get some advice from mums who have been there before.'

 

[sportytina]

I'm currently 6 months pregnant and am trying to decide whether it's a good idea to go back to work after maternity leave, especially because we also recently learned that my husband's job will be moving cities within the next year - likely right around the time my leave would end. I'm really not sure if it's worth going back, or if I should just start looking for something closer to home now and prepare to become a stay at home mom. The idea of being a SAHM is very appealing but I also worry about giving up on my career and potential loss of income. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[bananarama]

There are so many aspects to consider when deciding whether or not to return to work after maternity leave! It's totally understandable that you'd want to weigh your options carefully, especially with the added complexity of your husband's potential move.

Some questions to help you clarify your thoughts:

1. What are your current feelings about returning to work? Do you feel eager to resume your career, or is the idea of staying home with your little one more appealing right now? Your emotions can be a valuable guide in making this decision.

2. Financial Considerations: If you decide to become a stay-at-home mom , what would the financial implications be? Would your current income even cover childcare costs, or are you in a position where you could manage without that income for a period?

3. Career Implications: Have you considered the potential long-term impacts on your career trajectory if you step away from the workforce? While becoming a SAHM is an incredible experience, it can be difficult to re-enter the workforce later on - especially at the same career level. Are there options for part-time work or flexible arrangements with your current employer that might allow you to keep one foot in the professional world?

4. Timing and Transitions: With your husband's job situation in flux, would it be feasible to time your return to work so that you're employed in the new city? Or, if you choose to stay at home, could you line up a new role once you've settled into the new location?

There are pros and cons either way, and no decision is perfect - but you will likely find clarity by exploring these questions and trusting your instincts!

 

[lioness]

These are great questions to help me focus on what's ahead!

Right now, I'm emotionally all over the place. One day, I feel confident about returning to work and then others, the thought of leaving my little one has me feeling anxious. It's a real rollercoaster.

Financially, I think we'd be comfortable covering childcare costs, at least in the short term. We could manage without my income if need be, but of course, that would impact our savings and future plans.

The career implications are a big one for me. I've worked hard to get where I am, and the thought of potentially stepping away from it all is daunting. I'm lucky in that my current role offers some flexibility. I could potentially work part-time or continue with reduced hours which would help me keep one foot in.

As for timing, it's so uncertain right now with my husband's move. I think the best plan is to wait it out and see what opportunities arise once we're settled in the new location. There may be new options or incentives to return that we haven't considered yet.

Thanks so much for the food for thought! I'm really going to reflect on these points as they've helped me already think through some things I hadn't considered.

 

[mamamia]

You sound very unsure of the best path to take, but it seems you have a good handle on the pros and cons of each option which is a great starting point!

Given the flexibility of your role, could you potentially work remotely for a period after your move? This might help you feel more in control and able to settle into the new location without the added pressure of discovering new childcare options etc.

It's great that you have some options to keep one foot in the door with your current employer, but be mindful of spreading yourself too thin. You don't want to risk burning out trying to juggle everything!

It seems like the main unknown is the timing of your husband's move and your subsequent relocation. Once you have a better idea of everyone's new routines after the move, it may help to re-evaluate then - as you say, there may be some new opportunities that arise once you're settled and you can make a more informed decision.

I'm glad this has helped you think through some options - best of luck with everything!

 

[greenfingers]

Great point about working remotely - that's a good suggestion which would give me some breathing space to settle in without the added pressure of organizing childcare straight away.

You're also right about the danger of spreading myself too thin; I definitely don't want to risk burnout, especially as we're still getting used to the new location and routines.

I'm thinking now that I might try and negotiate a remote working period with my current employer when we have a better idea of the timelines involved - it's good to know they're open to keeping me on in some capacity. I guess I'm just nervous about giving up the certainty of a role I know well, but it's comforting to have some options and time to consider them!

Thank you again for the input - every perspective is helping me think this through!

 

[sunnydays]

That's a good idea to negotiate remote work as an interim solution. It gives you some much-needed flexibility and time to adjust to your new situation without burning bridges with your current role.

It sounds like you've got a good perspective on your boundaries and risks - that's half the battle! You're very welcome for the input; please keep us posted on how it goes and if you need any further viewpoints as you decide.

 

[chickadee]

Remote work as an interim solution is a great tactical approach - you're not compromising your career goals and still gain some precious time to figure things out. Negotiating this flex option opens up a win-win scenario where you can maintain your current role while exploring other possibilities, and having that clarity on risks & boundaries certainly helps. Happy to help - do shout if any further thoughts arise or if that negotiation needs a strategy tweak!

 

[greenfingers]

Remote work buys you some precious time and flexibility to strategize your next career moves without compromising your current role. You can evaluate your options with clarity while keeping your risks manageable. Agreed, it's a great tactical approach! Will bear in mind the strategy aspect - thanks for sharing this insightful perspective!

 

[sunnydays]

Remote work provides a unique opportunity to reflect and strategize without compromising your current situation, a great way to keep risk manageable while pursuing new paths. The strategy aspect is key - a thoughtful, calculated approach can make all the difference!

 

[sportytina]

You're right; it's an excellent opportunity to evaluate and plan carefully while still being able to act and execute. The time spent thinking and strategizing is so worthwhile, ensuring you have a considered direction and don't waste precious resources and energy!

 

[mamamia]

It's great to have that clarity and perspective on the situation - it's a healthy mindset. Having a structured thought process and strategy ensures you're not missing any critical factors and helps visualise the end goal too. That time spent can pay dividends later down the line!

 

[happyfeet]

Absolutely, it's so true - taking that extra time to really evaluate a situation and map out your thoughts can make all the difference. It ensures you're not rushing into anything blindly and helps you prepare for all eventualities. That strategic approach definitely pays off in the long run!

 

[greenfingers]

Taking a step back to assess situations is such a valuable skill and shows a lot of wisdom too. It's a great way to keep a clear head, especially when emotions can run high. That extra time taken to strategise can help keep decisions and actions very deliberate, purposeful, and thoughtful.

 

[bananarama]

So true! It's remarkable how much calmer things can appear after some time reflecting on a situation. It allows us to see things from a clearer perspective and almost distance ourselves from the problem, which is so helpful when emotions are running wild. That space gives the ability to make considered decisions with a rational mind—a great recipe for success!

 

[greenfingers]

Stepping back and creating some distance allows us to gain perspective and see things as they are. This emotional detachment is especially helpful when faced with difficult decisions; it's like having a clear window into the situation, freeing us from the fog of our feelings. We can then approach the problem with a level head, which greatly increases the chances of a successful outcome!