Travelmum's Parenting Solo Journey

[travelmum]

I’m curious to hear how everyone's coping with solo parenting and what strategies you use! I find it really challenging some days and was hoping to hear others' experiences and picks me ups for those hard days.

As a background, I separated from my partner almost 2 years ago and have been going it alone ever since - my little one was only 1 then, so it's all shes ever known. It’s just the two of us most of the time which has definitely had its pros and cons - any other solo parenters in a similar situation? I've always tried to focus on the positives of being a solo parent - like not having to negotiate decisions or step up the communication game with an unresponsive partner, but man, some days are sooo much harder than others!

The biggest challenges for me are:

1. Constant exhaustion - it’s relentless! There's no one to tag in when you're at your wit's end and the thought of having another adult around sometimes feels like a far-off dream.

2. Guilt - I feel so much guilt that my little one doesn't have a dad figure actively in her life, and also for not being able to give her all the attention she needs sometimes. She's incredibly active and social so I struggle with not having the energy to keep up or provide her with enough friends her age to play with regularly

3. Loneliness - I'm an introvert but find the lack of adult conversation, especially on weekends, pretty tough. It would be nice to have someone around to bounce ideas off, share the load and just have some company sometimes! Especially cause all my friends are coupled up so it gets a little lonely at times.

4. The fear - Am I making the right decisions solo? Am I doing OK as a parent without another adult's input? Am I screwing my kid up haha! It's unnerving sometimes to think you're solely responsible for this tiny human and their entire world...

Anyway, would love to hear other people's experiences - the good and the bad. And what gets you through those tough moments?!

 

[sunnydays]

I’m curious to hear how everyone's coping with solo parenting and what strategies you use! I find it really challenging some days and was hoping to hear others' experiences and picks me ups for those hard days.

As a background, I separated from my partner almost 2 years ago and have been going it alone ever since - my little one was only 1 then, so it's all shes ever known. It’s just the two of us most of the time which has definitely had its pros and cons - any other solo parenters in a similar situation? I've always tried to focus on the positives of being a solo parent - like not having to negotiate decisions or step up the communication game with an unresponsive partner, but man, some days are sooo much harder than others!

The biggest challenges for me are:

1. Constant exhaustion - it’s relentless! There's no one to tag in when you're at your wit's end and the thought of having another adult around sometimes feels like a far-off dream.

2. Guilt - I feel so much guilt that my little one doesn't have a dad figure actively in her life, and also for not being able to give her all the attention she needs sometimes. She's incredibly active and social so I struggle with not having the energy to keep up or provide her with enough friends her age to play with regularly

3. Loneliness - I'm an introvert but find the lack of adult conversation, especially on weekends, pretty tough. It would be nice to have someone around to bounce ideas off, share the load and just have some company sometimes! Especially cause all my friends are coupled up so it gets a little lonely at times.

4. The fear - Am I making the right decisions solo? Am I doing OK as a parent without another adult's input? Am I screwing my kid up haha! It's unnerving sometimes to think you're solely responsible for this tiny human and their entire world...

Anyway, would love to hear other people's experiences - the good and the bad. And what gets you through those tough moments?!

As a solo parent myself, I totally relate to the challenges you face! It's nice to have some company in this situation, even if it's just online company!

The relentless exhaustion is probably the hardest part; having no one to tag in is so true, and it's nice to remind ourselves that we're doing a great job even when we feel too exhausted to function!

My daughter is also very sociable and makes me wish she had more playmates her age, but it's so hard to organize playdates as a solo parent, and I often feel bad that I can't provide that for her. I just make sure to bring her to the playground or park sometimes, where she can interact with other kids, even if I don't join in because I'm too tired!

As for fears of making the right decisions, well, we're doing the best we can, and that's all our kids need to know we're doing our part as parents.

It's nice to hear about your experiences and know that I'm not alone in this! Keep strong, and here's to hoping that the tough days are few and far between!

 

[stargazer]

I’m curious to hear how everyone's coping with solo parenting and what strategies you use! I find it really challenging some days and was hoping to hear others' experiences and picks me ups for those hard days.

As a background, I separated from my partner almost 2 years ago and have been going it alone ever since - my little one was only 1 then, so it's all shes ever known. It’s just the two of us most of the time which has definitely had its pros and cons - any other solo parenters in a similar situation? I've always tried to focus on the positives of being a solo parent - like not having to negotiate decisions or step up the communication game with an unresponsive partner, but man, some days are sooo much harder than others!

The biggest challenges for me are:

1. Constant exhaustion - it’s relentless! There's no one to tag in when you're at your wit's end and the thought of having another adult around sometimes feels like a far-off dream.

2. Guilt - I feel so much guilt that my little one doesn't have a dad figure actively in her life, and also for not being able to give her all the attention she needs sometimes. She's incredibly active and social so I struggle with not having the energy to keep up or provide her with enough friends her age to play with regularly

3. Loneliness - I'm an introvert but find the lack of adult conversation, especially on weekends, pretty tough. It would be nice to have someone around to bounce ideas off, share the load and just have some company sometimes! Especially cause all my friends are coupled up so it gets a little lonely at times.

4. The fear - Am I making the right decisions solo? Am I doing OK as a parent without another adult's input? Am I screwing my kid up haha! It's unnerving sometimes to think you're solely responsible for this tiny human and their entire world...

Anyway, would love to hear other people's experiences - the good and the bad. And what gets you through those tough moments?!

Hi there Travelmum,

I can certainly relate to your situation on several levels, being a solo parent is no walk in the park! It's awesome that you're focusing on the positives and I think that mindset plays a huge role in coping with the challenges.

As for me, I'd been a solo parent since my daughter was born 4 years ago. My situation is slightly different as I've never experienced parenting with a partner, so I can't really miss what I've never had. But that doesn't mean it's any less exhausting or challenging! Like you, I also have to contend with the guilt of not being able to give my kiddo the attention she deserves, especially when she's such a sociable butterfly. It's really hard when you're virtually the only playmate and caregiver she has most of the time.

To cope, I've had to learn to be extra intentional about seeking help and support - which is so important for our mental health! I rely heavily on my parents and siblings who fortunately live nearby. Having a supportive family has been my main go-to coping mechanism, though I know not everyone has this privilege. Alternatively, making mom friends or joining parent support groups can also help with the loneliness aspect, and of course, having a reliable babysitter to tag in once in a while is also a lifesaver!

Also kudos to you for acknowledging the positive side of solo parenting - it's definitely a silver lining to not have to deal with an unresponsive partner! And about the fears you mentioned, well, I think that's something all parents - solo or otherwise - can relate to. We're all just doing our best and trusting that it's enough. As hard as it is, try not to let those fears consume you; easier said than done, I know!

For me, what gets me through the tough patches is reminding myself that this stage will eventually pass. The exhaustion and constant demands of a young child are temporary, and soon she'll be more independent which brings its own set of perks! Also, creating routines and structure helps immensely with managing expectations - both mine and my daughter's. Knowing what's coming next gives us both a sense of control over our lives, haha!

I hope you'll find these strategies helpful in coping too! Would love to hear other parents' experiences and insights as well .

 

[nature]

I’m curious to hear how everyone's coping with solo parenting and what strategies you use! I find it really challenging some days and was hoping to hear others' experiences and picks me ups for those hard days.

As a background, I separated from my partner almost 2 years ago and have been going it alone ever since - my little one was only 1 then, so it's all shes ever known. It’s just the two of us most of the time which has definitely had its pros and cons - any other solo parenters in a similar situation? I've always tried to focus on the positives of being a solo parent - like not having to negotiate decisions or step up the communication game with an unresponsive partner, but man, some days are sooo much harder than others!

The biggest challenges for me are:

1. Constant exhaustion - it’s relentless! There's no one to tag in when you're at your wit's end and the thought of having another adult around sometimes feels like a far-off dream.

2. Guilt - I feel so much guilt that my little one doesn't have a dad figure actively in her life, and also for not being able to give her all the attention she needs sometimes. She's incredibly active and social so I struggle with not having the energy to keep up or provide her with enough friends her age to play with regularly

3. Loneliness - I'm an introvert but find the lack of adult conversation, especially on weekends, pretty tough. It would be nice to have someone around to bounce ideas off, share the load and just have some company sometimes! Especially cause all my friends are coupled up so it gets a little lonely at times.

4. The fear - Am I making the right decisions solo? Am I doing OK as a parent without another adult's input? Am I screwing my kid up haha! It's unnerving sometimes to think you're solely responsible for this tiny human and their entire world...

Anyway, would love to hear other people's experiences - the good and the bad. And what gets you through those tough moments?!

Some days are definitely tougher than others; you're not alone in this solo parenting journey!

The feeling of being solely responsible for your little one can be overwhelming, I understand! It's a lot of pressure and some days, the weight of it all just hits you. Especially when you're already exhausted from running on empty.

But you're doing a great job! Focus on the fact that you're an awesome role model to your little one for being strong, independent, and resilient - showing her what it means to be a fantastic woman! Don't worry; she won't be missing out on having a dad figure if you're an amazing mom doing your best. You'll both create your own special bond and lovely memories together

As for the guilt - give yourself a big hug, mama! You're doing an amazing job, and it's okay to not be perfect; your daughter will understand one day and appreciate all you've done. Remember, you're only human, after all! Try not to compare yourself with others - every parent, whether solo or not, has their struggles; it's just sometimes hidden from view.

Introvert parents might feel the loneliness keenly on weekends or days off work, but here's a virtual adult hug and a quick reminder that you're doing an incredible job! Keep focusing on the positives of your situation - it's a great mindset to have You got this!

 

[doctormama]

I’m curious to hear how everyone's coping with solo parenting and what strategies you use! I find it really challenging some days and was hoping to hear others' experiences and picks me ups for those hard days.

As a background, I separated from my partner almost 2 years ago and have been going it alone ever since - my little one was only 1 then, so it's all shes ever known. It’s just the two of us most of the time which has definitely had its pros and cons - any other solo parenters in a similar situation? I've always tried to focus on the positives of being a solo parent - like not having to negotiate decisions or step up the communication game with an unresponsive partner, but man, some days are sooo much harder than others!

The biggest challenges for me are:

1. Constant exhaustion - it’s relentless! There's no one to tag in when you're at your wit's end and the thought of having another adult around sometimes feels like a far-off dream.

2. Guilt - I feel so much guilt that my little one doesn't have a dad figure actively in her life, and also for not being able to give her all the attention she needs sometimes. She's incredibly active and social so I struggle with not having the energy to keep up or provide her with enough friends her age to play with regularly

3. Loneliness - I'm an introvert but find the lack of adult conversation, especially on weekends, pretty tough. It would be nice to have someone around to bounce ideas off, share the load and just have some company sometimes! Especially cause all my friends are coupled up so it gets a little lonely at times.

4. The fear - Am I making the right decisions solo? Am I doing OK as a parent without another adult's input? Am I screwing my kid up haha! It's unnerving sometimes to think you're solely responsible for this tiny human and their entire world...

Anyway, would love to hear other people's experiences - the good and the bad. And what gets you through those tough moments?!

As a solo parent, it can get overwhelming, especially on the challenging days. But kudos to you for focusing on the positives and making the best of your situation!

Some days, it's totally normal and okay to feel exhausted and run ragged, trying to keep up with your little one's energy and needs. It's completely understandable to experience guilt as you aim to provide the best for your child. The loneliness that comes with being a solo parent can be difficult, more so on weekends when most of your coupled-up friends are around their significant others. And hey, it's scary and unnerving to navigate this huge responsibility alone!

Are there any solo parents in your vicinity, like in your neighborhood or at your daughter's childcare center? It would be nice to have company or even a support system in place where you can take turns to babysit each other's kids or provide backup when needed.

Also, do keep in mind that you're doing an incredible job and the fact that you're concerned about your parenting choices means you're already doing a fantastic job! Seek help from family or friends, who I'm sure would understand and be willing to lend a helping hand. Remember, it takes a village! And of course, if you ever need professional help, do reach out to your go-to pediatrician or family physician.

What's your go-to strategy whenever you feel burned out?