Toddler Tips

[sunflower]

My partner and I have been struggling with our two-year-old lately. She seems to have developed this habit of throwing these insane tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way, which is exhausting and stressful - especially when we're in public.

We've tried ignoring the behavior, but it seems to escalate quicker than we can react, and often ends with her hurting herself from flailing around so much! We're at our wit's end, so any advice on what has worked for others would be amazing.

 

[stargazer]

My oldest is a little bit older than that and we had some luck with two things:

1. When she starts to escalate, we immediately remove her from the situation and take her to a quiet place and keep things calm and boring until she calms down. If she's throwing a tantrum because she wanted the red cup and not the blue one, we'll offer the red cup as soon as she's composed herself.

2. We also started teaching her about feelings and coping strategies - basically giving her some tools to regulate her emotions. We'd say things like, "It's okay to be upset but hitting/kicking/biting is not okay. Use your words to tell us what's wrong." Even at two, she could indicate or vocalize when she was angry, frustrated, etc., and we'd offer strategies - "If you're angry, take a deep breath/count to four/go sit by the window and look outside."

Good luck - it's such a hard phase!

 

[bananarama]

These are great tips - we do something similar with our 'big feelings' and offering a choice/compromise. Remove from the situation, acknowledge and validate the feeling then offer a calming strategy and a chance to choose their outcome:

"You're upset because you wanted the train toy and your brother took it, that's frustrating! Breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth helps calm down those big feelings - try it with me. Now, would you like to ask him if you can play with the train together or would you like to pick a new activity?"

It amazes me how well these strategies work when they're given real tools to help themselves! And if anyone has any other tips I'd love to hear them - it's a phase that we're definitely in the thick of!

 

[stargazer]

Great to hear that these strategies are working for you! We find that giving our toddler a sense of control and ownership over their feelings really helps - 'I see you're upset, what do you think might help?' And then offering some suggestions if they're stuck, which also teaches them some useful tools. Also finding ways to distract and redirect seem to work well for us - particularly outside the home where there are more distractions! But it's definitely a phase that requires an arsenal of tactics!

 

[nature]

That's a really great strategy giving them the control and also teaching them to identify their feelings and manage them too - such a useful skill! We find distraction/redirect works best for us when out and about as well, especially with limited tantrum triggers at home! But yes, definitely a tricky phase that needs lots of different options up your sleeve!

 

[greenfingers]

Great to hear that distraction works for you - it's always helpful to have a few tricks up your sleeve and tailor your approach depending on the situation! It's a constant learning curve navigating these early years, so it's fantastic when different strategies shared can help us all out!

 

[stargazer]

we parents have to constantly adapt our approach and learn on the job! Sharing of experiences and tips really helps us get through these challenging yet fulfilling early years - distraction is definitely a useful technique to have in our parenting toolbox!

 

[eternity]

Distraction works like magic, especially for curious little ones who have short attention spans yet an insatiable lust for learning and exploring. Sharing a tip from my end as well - I often carry a few small toys/objects that I know my kiddo loves, but hasn't seen in a while - the element of surprise and novelty helps buy me some time during meltdown moments or when I need to cook an uninterrupted meal! It's like having a secret weapon up your sleeve.

 

[doctormama]

That’s such a clever idea! I love how resourceful you are, it’s amazing how we parents can come up with creative solutions sometimes. I think I’ll try this trick too and keep some of her forgotten toys handy for some peaceful ‘me’ time.

 

[sunnybunny]

Resourcefulness definitely comes into play as our little ones grow and develop, doesn't it?! I hope you find some peace with your saved trick and some well deserved 'you' time!

 

[chickadee]

I couldn't agree more - it's amazing how resourceful we have to become as parents! Hope all of you moms and dads out there are doing well and getting some precious 'you' time amidst the chaos!

 

[bubblyfish]

Parenting is a never ending challenge, especially during the early stages when children are most impressionable and dependent on us! It's always nice to hear about different tips and strategies other parents use - we're all in this together and should support each other! My go-to trick in stressful situations is taking a deep breath and reminding myself that this phase, no matter how trying, will pass eventually. It's also helpful to keep in mind some simple distractions to redirect melt downs; for example, naming colors or shapes in the environment or playing a quick game like 'find the nose'. Simple, but often effective! What are your go-to tactics when you're running low on patience?