The SoloParenting thread

[sportytina]

Hello context, hello everyone.

It's wonderful to see so many of us here coming together as solo parents; it's a unique and often challenging experience that not everyone will understand unless they're living it too. We're here for each other! I wanted to create this thread to discuss the triumphs and pitfalls of solo parenting and everything in between - because we all know it's not always sunshine and roses, but equally, there are so many rewards!

To kickstart the conversation, let's begin with some of the most challenging aspects you've experienced solo parenting. For me, managing discipline and complex feelings as a single parent is one of the hardest things; it can be emotionally draining, especially when you're already stretched thin. How do you navigate those moments?

 

[sunnybunny]

For me, the hardest part 'bout being a solo parent is handling the guilt. You know, the guilt of not being able to give my kid the complete picture - a mom and a dad. And also, it's quite sian not having that extra pair of hands or eyes when you need it. Like, during emergencies or when you're just damn tired and want some me-time.

But ya know, I remind myself that even though we're solo, me and my kiddo create our own kind of normal and it's a blessing too, in many ways! We gotta celebrate the fact that us parents are doing our very best, even - and especially - on the hardest days.

 

[bookworm]

For me, the hardest part 'bout being a solo parent is handling the guilt. You know, the guilt of not being able to give my kid the complete picture - a mom and a dad. And also, it's quite sian not having that extra pair of hands or eyes when you need it. Like, during emergencies or when you're just damn tired and want some me-time.

But ya know, I remind myself that even though we're solo, me and my kiddo create our own kind of normal and it's a blessing too, in many ways! We gotta celebrate the fact that us parents are doing our very best, even - and especially - on the hardest days.

Yeah, I feel you there! The guilt can be a real downer, but you're right about making our own kind of normal. And that's not so bad, is it? It's just us parents doing our best and creating something special in itself!

 

[techsavvy]

I find the hardest part is the sheer exhaustion from being on call all the time. No breaks and always having to be mentally present even when you're physically exhausted. Discipline is a challenge because there's no one else to step in or take over when things escalate, so keeping your cool is harder when you're running on empty.

 

[sunflower]

Discipline's tough - especially when you're emotionally spent.

I find taking time to explain why certain behaviours are unacceptable helps. It helps them understand and you avoid the same issue down the line. When they know you're consistent, it becomes easier to enforce rules too. Also, having a few simple consequences that I escalate helps - like taking away privileges for repeated misbehaviour. But it's definitely draining, especially when you'd rather be doing something fun together!

 

[queenie]

Discipline's tough - especially when you're emotionally spent.

I find taking time to explain why certain behaviours are unacceptable helps. It helps them understand and you avoid the same issue down the line. When they know you're consistent, it becomes easier to enforce rules too. Also, having a few simple consequences that I escalate helps - like taking away privileges for repeated misbehaviour. But it's definitely draining, especially when you'd rather be doing something fun together!

It's also good to have a few go-to consequences that match the severity of the situation. Taking away privileges is a good idea - and works well as a last resort. But it's definitely not fun for anyone!

 

[doctormama]

I find it hard to manage my kid's expectations and desires, especially when their wishes are unreasonable or impractical. Like many other solo parents, I often feel guilty that I can't give them the world, and say no without feeling like I'm letting them down. It's a constant juggling act and emotional drain, trying to balance their hopes with what's realistic and affordable.

How do you handle these situations? It's tough when you're the only one calling the shots and having to stay firm!

 

[melissa.koh]

It can be hard not to snap sometimes, especially when you're faced with difficult behaviors or tough situations. I find it helpful to take a moment and step away, to gather myself and reset so I can approach the situation with a calmer head. It's definitely a work in progress though!

 

[musical]

It can be hard not to snap sometimes, especially when you're faced with difficult behaviors or tough situations. I find it helpful to take a moment and step away, to gather myself and reset so I can approach the situation with a calmer head. It's definitely a work in progress though!

Sometimes it's really hard not to react right away especially when you're at your wit's end. Taking some time to cool off and gather yourself is a great strategy - it's good to reset and approach the issue later with a calmer mind.

 

[techsavvy]

As a solo parent, the constant demand for mental presence can be exhausting. The weight of discipline rests solely on our shoulders, and keeping calm becomes harder when we're drained. I often wonder about other parents' experiences with maintaining a healthy dynamic between emotional labour and discipline. How do you find a balance?

 

[luciana]

As a solo parent, the constant demand for mental presence can be exhausting. The weight of discipline rests solely on our shoulders, and keeping calm becomes harder when we're drained. I often wonder about other parents' experiences with maintaining a healthy dynamic between emotional labour and discipline. How do you find a balance?

I feel you. It's really tough to keep a cool head when there's so much going on and no break in sight. I find it helpful to take some time out for myself regularly - even if it's just a few minutes - to recharge and recenter. Otherwise, the pressure can get to you and before you know it, you're snapping at the little ones. Can't have that! We gotta keep our heads up, mate.