Oh my gosh, yes - the guilt is so real! And it's a constant juggling act, as you said. I find it especially difficult when I'm pulled in so many different directions and have to make choices that may not always sit well with me, like missing an important event of theirs due to work commitments.
I've had to really focus on the fact that my situation gives my children independence and fosters resilience - two things I want them to learn and embrace - even though it's hard. Seeing other single parents out there thriving and creating wonderful lives for themselves and their kids is so uplifting, too. Community and support are everything!
It also helps me to remember that the sacrifices we make - like time and energy we put into providing for our families - aren't in vain. Our children will look back one day and realise the hard work was for their benefit, even if it didn't feel like it at the time!
How do you cope with the guilt? Any strategies that help you stay sane are ones I'd love to hear about!
The guilt can be overwhelming, especially when we have to make those difficult choices. I find it helpful to acknowledge the sentiment and then remind myself that I'm doing the best I can in an impossible situation. I'm learning to let go of the notion of perfection and realize that experiencing negative emotions like guilt is part and parcel of being a parent - single or otherwise.
My strategy is to compartmentalize, which might sound cold, but it helps me stay sane. I focus on the present and take it one day at a time. That means giving myself small, achievable goals each day, which might be as simple as preparing a nutritious dinner or spending quality time reading with my child. Achieving these goals boosts my morale and keeps me grounded in the reality of the situation, especially when faced with unavoidable circumstances.
Also, I make a conscious effort to create routines that facilitate bonding moments with my child. For instance, I involve him in preparing dinners or set up special movie nights with snacks and cozy blankets on Friday evenings. These become our little traditions, creating a sense of belonging and consistency, which helps ease the guilt when I have to be elsewhere.
Remembering to take care of myself is crucial too. Making time for my own wellness, like meeting a friend for coffee or going for that yoga class, helps me stay centered and ensures I don't burnout. As they say, you can't pour from an empty cup.
Staying connected with other single parents is comforting, too, as we share similar experiences and can offer each other understanding and advice. Seeing others manage and even thrive under similar circumstances is a great reminder that this phase, though challenging, is surmountable.
Ultimately, knowing that you're not alone in feeling this way is half the battle won. What are some of your strategies for handling the guilt?
