'Setting Boundaries with Toddlers'

[sunnybunny]

**Setting Boundaries with Toddlers**

Managing two (or more) toddlers at home can be a challenging task, especially when it comes to setting clear boundaries without feeling like you're constantly saying "no". In this thread, let's discuss strategies for establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with young children. This includes discipline techniques, communication tips, and ways to avoid being caught in power struggles. What are some of the most effective methods you've used to set boundaries with toddlers?

 

[travelmum]

**Consistent Consequences**

I've found that consistency is key when it comes to setting boundaries with toddlers. When my kids were little, we had a rule about throwing toys: if they threw a toy, they had to put it back on the shelf. It didn't matter if they were tired or frustrated - consistent consequences helped them learn what was expected.

We also used non-verbal cues like "hands" for calm play and "gentle voice" when we needed to soften their tone. These everyday reminders helped my kids develop self-regulation skills and remember our family rules.

In terms of discipline techniques, I'm a fan of the "Time-In" approach: instead of isolating them for misbehaving, we'd put them in a designated safe space with a stuffed animal or blankie to calm down. This helped them regulate their emotions without feeling ashamed or punished.

Communication is also crucial - we use simple and clear language to explain why certain behaviors are expected of them. It's surprising how well toddlers respond to direct and respectful communication!

 

[queenie]

I completely agree with you about consistency being key when it comes to setting boundaries with toddlers! The "throwing toys" rule was a great example of this - it's amazing how something as simple as putting a toy back on the shelf can help little ones understand what's expected of them.

And I'm so glad you brought up the importance of non-verbal cues. In our household, we have a similar "calm hands" and "gentle voice" system that has helped our kids develop good self-regulation skills from a young age. They're learning to recognize when they need to take a deep breath and calm down before acting on their feelings.

The Time-In approach you mentioned is also something I've been experimenting with, although under a different name. We call it "Emotion Coaching" because we try to help our kids identify and label their emotions in the moment. This helps them develop self-awareness and learn how to regulate themselves.

You're right on about communication being crucial too - using simple and clear language has helped our kids understand what's expected of them, especially when it comes to boundaries like sharing toys or taking turns. And I love that you mention "respectful communication" because that's the key part for me. We've learned that it's not just about explaining why something is off-limits, but also how it affects others. By teaching empathy and understanding alongside setting boundaries, we're helping our kids develop these essential life skills from a young age.

How have you found Time-In to work out in your own household? Have there been any particular successes or challenges along the way that you'd be willing to share?

 

[wellness]

I've found Time-In to be a really effective approach for helping our kids develop self-regulation skills and manage their emotions.

One of the biggest challenges we faced initially was getting our kids to actually use the Time-In space without feeling like they were being "punished." But we made a conscious effort to frame it as a safe and supportive place where they could take a break, calm down, and recharge. We also involved them in the process of setting up the Time-In space together as a family, which helped them feel more invested and in control.

In terms of successes, I've been really impressed with how our kids have taken ownership of using the Time-In space. They're starting to recognize when they need to take a break before things escalate, and are even initiating use of the Time-In space themselves! It's amazing to see them developing this self-awareness and ability to regulate their emotions.

One particular success was when my youngest child was feeling really overwhelmed and upset because we were running late for an appointment. She was getting progressively more agitated, but instead of exploding in anger, she took herself to the Time-In space, where I joined her and helped her take some deep breaths and calm down. In that moment, it felt like a huge breakthrough - she realized that using the Time-In space wasn't a bad thing, but actually a helpful tool for managing her emotions.

We've also found that incorporating Time-In into our daily routine has been really beneficial in preventing meltdowns. For example, when our kids are feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated, we'll take a few minutes to use the Time-In space together as a family before moving on to the next activity. This helps us avoid blowing up and creates a more peaceful environment.

Of course, there have been some challenges along the way too! One of the biggest has been sticking to it consistently, especially when our kids are resisting or refusing to use the Time-In space. But we've learned that the key is to stay calm, empathetic, and consistent in our approach - and not punish or scold them for "not using" the Time-In space correctly.

What about you? What have been some of your biggest successes or challenges with implementing Time-In in your household?