Seeking parent wisdom

[sunnydays]

Spoiler: Thread summary

Great to hear from experienced parents on strategies to cope with challenging phases in child-rearing! Natural consequences and setting consistent boundaries indeed help children learn valuable lessons. Acknowledging the child's feelings while keeping calm during tantrums can de-escalate the situation, leading to a more peaceful resolution. Removing oneself from the situation or taking a short break is also a healthy way for parents to regroup and gain perspective.

As each child is unique, adapting strategies based on their individual personalities is crucial. Staying firm and consistent in discipline while leading by example can pay off in the long run even though it's challenging. Keeping children engaged with outdoor activities or fun playdates can be tiring but effective in managing their energy levels and reducing mischievous behaviour.

Remembering that these trying phases shall eventually pass also helps parents keep perspective and not lose patience! Parents, you're doing a fantastic job navigating these choppy waters - your efforts will bear fruit!

Hi all, I'm seeking some insight and wisdom from parents who have been there and done that! I'm at my wit's end with my 3-year-old and her recent behavioural changes. It seems like overnight she's turned into a tiny tyrant, throwing tantrums at every turn and pushing every boundary. I'm sure it's a phase, but I'd love to hear how others have navigated these challenging stages and any strategies you used! Any advice is welcome!

 

[doctormama]

Kids this age are tricky cos they are still figuring things out. Boundaries are being tested cos they are curious to see how far they can push and pull. Don't sweat it too much, this phase shall also pass!

My personal trick - which worked quite well with my own kiddo - was to acknowledge her feelings but also offer alternatives to the behaviour. So like, "I know you're angry/frustrated/upset that we have to leave the park, and I get it! It's fun there! But hitting/kicking/screaming isn't how we express ourselves. We use our words! Let's practice!"

Also, redirecting their energy helps - like if they're having a meltdown cos they want the toy their friend has, distract and divert their attention to something else, somewhere else. Shift their focus away from what's triggering the tantrum. It takes practice and patience but it helps to remember that this is also a learning process for them, and this too shall pass!

 

[happyfeet]

Kids this age are tricky cos they are still figuring things out. Boundaries are being tested cos they are curious to see how far they can push and pull. Don't sweat it too much, this phase shall also pass!

My personal trick - which worked quite well with my own kiddo - was to acknowledge her feelings but also offer alternatives to the behaviour. So like, "I know you're angry/frustrated/upset that we have to leave the park, and I get it! It's fun there! But hitting/kicking/screaming isn't how we express ourselves. We use our words! Let's practice!"

Also, redirecting their energy helps - like if they're having a meltdown cos they want the toy their friend has, distract and divert their attention to something else, somewhere else. Shift their focus away from what's triggering the tantrum. It takes practice and patience but it helps to remember that this is also a learning process for them, and this too shall pass!

Kids also learn by observing and mimicking. Model the behavior you want them to learn - express your frustration without hitting, kicking, or screaming. It's hard work being a parent! But setting a good example can help the little ones learn the right cues.

 

[bookworm]

I know it's hard, but try to keep calm and consistent with discipline. When they're young like that, it's good to quickly redirect their attention with a simple and firm "No" followed by a simple instruction like "Come here".

Timeouts are also effective for my kids when they hit these phases. Just make sure you follow through consistently - that's the key! Don't give in or reward bad behaviour, or else they will keep testing boundaries.

It gets better once they grow out of this stage and learn some self-control! But those early years are a real test of patience!

 

[techsavvy]

I know it's hard, but try to keep calm and consistent with discipline. When they're young like that, it's good to quickly redirect their attention with a simple and firm "No" followed by a simple instruction like "Come here".

Timeouts are also effective for my kids when they hit these phases. Just make sure you follow through consistently - that's the key! Don't give in or reward bad behaviour, or else they will keep testing boundaries.

It gets better once they grow out of this stage and learn some self-control! But those early years are a real test of patience!

I second the notion of staying calm and consistent! In fact, I find that going all zen helps a lot in dealing with the little ones' unpredictable behaviors.

When my tot throws a tantrum, I just keep a straight face and respond with a firm but calm tone - it usually helps to defuse the situation. Of course, there are times when I need to remove myself from the situation and take a brief break too haha! Can't let the frustration get the better of me!

And yeah, redirection works well for our tot too. I find that giving simple, clear instructions - almost like giving commands, helps. Give them a simple task or two and it seems to snap them out of their meltdown mode. Timely distraction can help to shift their focus too.

Stay strong and hang in there! These phases come and go.

 

[bookworm]

I second the notion of staying calm and consistent! In fact, I find that going all zen helps a lot in dealing with the little ones' unpredictable behaviors.

When my tot throws a tantrum, I just keep a straight face and respond with a firm but calm tone - it usually helps to defuse the situation. Of course, there are times when I need to remove myself from the situation and take a brief break too haha! Can't let the frustration get the better of me!

And yeah, redirection works well for our tot too. I find that giving simple, clear instructions - almost like giving commands, helps. Give them a simple task or two and it seems to snap them out of their meltdown mode. Timely distraction can help to shift their focus too.

Stay strong and hang in there! These phases come and go.

Yep, zen-like calmness is the way to go! I've also found that giving clear and simple instructions helps a lot - works like a magic spell sometimes! And quick distractions can be a lifesaver too.

Toddlers are like little hurricanes - they come, wreak havoc, and then it's sunny days again. So just hunker down and ride it out, parents!

 

[techsavvy]

Yep, zen-like calmness is the way to go! I've also found that giving clear and simple instructions helps a lot - works like a magic spell sometimes! And quick distractions can be a lifesaver too.

Toddlers are like little hurricanes - they come, wreak havoc, and then it's sunny days again. So just hunker down and ride it out, parents!

That's well said! They're surely little hurricanes with big emotions! But keeping our cool and maintaining composure goes a long way.

Sometimes, I feel like a detective investigating a crime scene too, trying to figure out the trigger of the meltdown! haha. But yeah, distraction, redirection, and keeping things moving helps to keep the peace.

What are some of your go-to moves when the little one's emotions flare up?

 

[bookworm]

That's well said! They're surely little hurricanes with big emotions! But keeping our cool and maintaining composure goes a long way.

Sometimes, I feel like a detective investigating a crime scene too, trying to figure out the trigger of the meltdown! haha. But yeah, distraction, redirection, and keeping things moving helps to keep the peace.

What are some of your go-to moves when the little one's emotions flare up?

Oh yeah, the emotional tornadoes can be exhausting!

I usually start by acknowledging the feeling - 'You're so angry right now!', and then quickly follow up with a distraction, something like, 'let's go splash some water!' or get him involved in a simple activity. It helps to have a bag of tricks up your sleeve - interesting books, sensory toys, bubble wands, etc., anything that engages the senses seems to work well.

If all else fails, I'll go for a quick cuddle and a rocked dance session - sometimes, you just gotta go with the flow and ride it out!

 

[techsavvy]

Oh yeah, the emotional tornadoes can be exhausting!

I usually start by acknowledging the feeling - 'You're so angry right now!', and then quickly follow up with a distraction, something like, 'let's go splash some water!' or get him involved in a simple activity. It helps to have a bag of tricks up your sleeve - interesting books, sensory toys, bubble wands, etc., anything that engages the senses seems to work well.

If all else fails, I'll go for a quick cuddle and a rocked dance session - sometimes, you just gotta go with the flow and ride it out!

Sensory toys and engaging books are a great idea! I'll have to remember that since my toddler is very tactile-focused.

And yep, there's no harm in embracing the chaos occasionally and going with the flow. Sometimes, it's enjoyable to just surrender and be silly!
What other strategies do you parents have up your sleeve for those challenging phases? You know, the extremely happy, yet extremely demanding phases filled with tantrums and tears!

 

[greenfingers]

Oh boy, behavioural changes can be quite the headache! My humble advice would be to keep calm, take a deep breath and know that this too shall pass.

It's tricky because every kid is different, but one thing that has helped me is having a chat and finding out why they're acting up. Could be attention, could be exhaustion, or even hunger - little ones can't always tell you what's up, so I try to get down to their level and have a calm conversation. Sometimes it helps to acknowledge their feelings too, like, "I know you're upset/tired/frustrated," and go from there.

Also, consequences! Natural consequences are a great teacher, so if they throw a toy, it's taken away for a while. That said, I don't take everything away because then they'd have nothing! Balance is key. It teaches them the world doesn't revolve around them, and actions have repercussions, y'know? I also try to give plenty of positive reinforcement when they do well - we all like being praised!

Remember, you're the parent, so your kid will test boundaries; that's their job! Stay consistent, keep your cool, and they'll learn what's what. It's not easy, but hang in there! Every phase passes and you're doing a great job!

 

[bananarama]

Oh boy, behavioural changes can be quite the headache! My humble advice would be to keep calm, take a deep breath and know that this too shall pass.

It's tricky because every kid is different, but one thing that has helped me is having a chat and finding out why they're acting up. Could be attention, could be exhaustion, or even hunger - little ones can't always tell you what's up, so I try to get down to their level and have a calm conversation. Sometimes it helps to acknowledge their feelings too, like, "I know you're upset/tired/frustrated," and go from there.

Also, consequences! Natural consequences are a great teacher, so if they throw a toy, it's taken away for a while. That said, I don't take everything away because then they'd have nothing! Balance is key. It teaches them the world doesn't revolve around them, and actions have repercussions, y'know? I also try to give plenty of positive reinforcement when they do well - we all like being praised!

Remember, you're the parent, so your kid will test boundaries; that's their job! Stay consistent, keep your cool, and they'll learn what's what. It's not easy, but hang in there! Every phase passes and you're doing a great job!

True that! Keep your cool and find out what's up with the little one. Could just be a phase where they learning to navigate their emotions. Also, taking away the toy and giving it back after some time helps to teach some sense of consequence! Natural consequences are the best teacher man! But ya, gotta pick your battles - can't remove everything cos life will be boring without toys!

 

[greenfingers]

True that! Keep your cool and find out what's up with the little one. Could just be a phase where they learning to navigate their emotions. Also, taking away the toy and giving it back after some time helps to teach some sense of consequence! Natural consequences are the best teacher man! But ya, gotta pick your battles - can't remove everything cos life will be boring without toys!

Yeah, definitely! It's easy to get heated when they're throwing a tantrum, but keeping calm really helps! I find that acknowledging their feelings goes a long way too, like you said - could just be a phase they're going through.

And yup, picking your battles is so important; can't take everything away, life would be dull without toys! haha. But those natural consequences will teach them a lesson and prepare them for the real world, so it's beneficial in the long run.

Staying consistent and keeping cool - we parents got this!

 

[bananarama]

Yeah, definitely! It's easy to get heated when they're throwing a tantrum, but keeping calm really helps! I find that acknowledging their feelings goes a long way too, like you said - could just be a phase they're going through.

And yup, picking your battles is so important; can't take everything away, life would be dull without toys! haha. But those natural consequences will teach them a lesson and prepare them for the real world, so it's beneficial in the long run.

Staying consistent and keeping cool - we parents got this!

Most definitely! It's a fine line we parent walk, isn't it? We wanna show our little ones that we understand and are here for them, but also gotta set some boundaries and teach those life lessons!

Hard to keep our cool when emotions are running high, but I find that if I take a second to breathe and think first, it helps me to respond instead of react, cos reactions can sometimes lead to regret haha! And yup, that consistency is key - our little humans are always watching and picking up hints!

We're all in this together! High five!

 

[greenfingers]

Most definitely! It's a fine line we parent walk, isn't it? We wanna show our little ones that we understand and are here for them, but also gotta set some boundaries and teach those life lessons!

Hard to keep our cool when emotions are running high, but I find that if I take a second to breathe and think first, it helps me to respond instead of react, cos reactions can sometimes lead to regret haha! And yup, that consistency is key - our little humans are always watching and picking up hints!

We're all in this together! High five!

Breathing and thinking before responding - that's a good strategy! We're all different though; some parents I know swears by removing themselves from the situation and taking a short break. They find it helps them to regroup and re-center, especially when emotions are boiling over.

I like your style! Quick thinking and responsive parenting!

 

[bananarama]

Breathing and thinking before responding - that's a good strategy! We're all different though; some parents I know swears by removing themselves from the situation and taking a short break. They find it helps them to regroup and re-center, especially when emotions are boiling over.

I like your style! Quick thinking and responsive parenting!

True ah. Different strokes for different folks! I'm usually a 'walk away and cool down' type, but gotta adapt when the situation calls for quick thinking! LOL! Got no one-size-fits-all solution leh. Each kid also different hor. My older one very active body, so I find distractions or getting her outdoors helps, like let her blow off steam then she's more manageable. The younger one is a feisty little bean, so removing myself and leaving the room helps me not lose my cool. If I'm not seeing red, I can think clearer also lor!

 

[queenie]

I think every phase passes, including the tiny tyrant one! My strategy was to stay calm and keep my expectations clear, which eventually paid off. tantrums are exhausting, so taking a breather when you can is key or you won't have the patience you need!

Keep consistent with your discipline and don't let the little one walk all over you - easier said than done, I know! But it's good to remember that it's not forever. When my kid was going through that phase, time outs helped me a lot. Also, keeping her occupied with outdoor activities or fun playdates worked wonders cos' she had less energy for mischief when she was tired from all the running around. You gotta stay firm and remember that this too shall pass!

 

[happyfeet]

If young they pick up fast how to manage their feelings by watching how we keep our cool and manage our own emotions when they lose theirs. Show them the way you want them to express themselves appropriately, like using words instead of hitting. Hard as it is, try not to lose your patience in front of them! Can try, huh? Not easy being a parent man... But gotta lead by example lah.

 

[nature]

A lot of what works is staying calm and acknowledging the feelings. It's easy to lose your cool when they're screaming Blue Murder but it doesn't help anyone. I usually just keep repeating in a calm voice, "I hear you, I'm listening". Sometimes I acknowledge the feeling by reflecting it back to them, e.g., "You're so angry right now!" It helps to validate their emotions and lets them know that I'm on their side.

Also, removing the audience really helps! Kids seek reactions, so if you just casually walk away and go about your business as usual without giving any extra attention, they might just stop because they're not getting the desired response.

Time-outs are good but honestly, it's hit or miss - sometimes it works like a charm, sometimes it makes it worse cos they're already so riled up. You gotta keep lots of snacks around for when they do calm down so it associates the time-out corner with treat time!

You'll figure it out, this too shall pass! Every phase is just a season and you don't want to miss the lesson in it.