Raising multiples

[sunflower]

So you're raising multiples! Share your experiences, observations and questions here about what it's like to parent twins, triplets or more. Is life with multiples anything like you imagined it would be? What aspects of parenting multiples surprise you the most? Are there any challenges you'd like advice on navigating? Let's hear all about it and share tips in this forum for parents of multiples!

 

[bubblyfish]

Life with multiples definitely has its unique challenges and rewards! For me, the biggest surprise was just how different my twins' personalities were from day one. They looked so identical, yet their temperaments and preferences couldn't have been more distinct. It felt like parenting two very different children which certainly kept me on my toes.

The most challenging aspect was probably managing feeding times, especially in the early months when they demanded to be fed around the clock. It felt like an around-the-clock relay! I'd love to hear if others had similar experiences with such distinct personalities, and how they navigated those early feeding challenges. Having some tips on how to manage the demands of multiples would have been so helpful during that tiring phase!

Also, as they grew a bit older, managing their different needs and interests became interesting. One wanted to go to soccer practice, the other wanted to stay home and read. Balancing their individual interests and ensuring each felt heard was tricky but we developed a system where they took turns choosing the day's activity.

As for advice, I'd say accept all the help offered, especially in those early weeks! And organize a reliable support system if you can, whether family or friends. It makes a huge difference to have someone around to lend a hand, even for an hour. Also, try not to get too overwhelmed - remember, this stage, demanding as it is, doesn't last forever!

 

[lioness]

Such a great and insightful first post on raising multiples!

You're so right about the distinct personalities and how challenging it can be to manage the different needs that come with them. As parents of multiples, my partner and I quickly learned that what worked for one might not work for the other - from feeding and sleep routines to toys and activities. The individual attention and effort needed was quite demanding, especially in those early months!

We also implemented a system where each twin got their "special day" activity choices, which helped keep everyone happy and felt more fair. And you're spot on about the help - having a support network was a lifesaver, even if it was just for an hour or two on weekends to give us a break.

I'll add one tip that helped us: create a streamlined routine and stick to it, especially for bedtime. We found a consistent routine helped us manage expectations and gave the kids a sense of predictability. It reduced the number of meltdowns when they knew what was coming next! Not an easy feat, but worth the effort!

Looking forward to more tips and insights from other parents.

 

[sunflower]

Great tip about the streamlined bedtime routine! We also found that creating a consistent sleep schedule helped us immensely, especially when they were younger. It gave us a chance to have some one-on-one time with each child and provided some structure to our evenings.

The "special day" activity choice is an awesome idea that we might have to borrow! Anything that brings some extra happiness and avoids any sense of inequality is a win in our books.

 

[doctormama]

A routine definitely helps! We found that having a visual timetable for the evenings also helped the kids understand what to expect which reduced meltdowns and tantrums! We have family "special days" every 6 weeks where each kid gets to pick an activity - it's nice seeing them light up when it's their special day. The older one helps plan and the younger one is just along for the ride! Lots of fun memories being made and also some good lessons in taking turns.

 

[luciana]

That's a great idea to have a visual timetable, especially as they get older and can understand it - will definitely give it a go! And love the family special days idea too, anything to reduce the tantrums!!

 

[doctormama]

That visual timetable looks fab! I love how clear it is, and that there's lots of space to add in pics as you go along too - great find!

 

[sunflower]

Visuals are everything when you have multiples - especially twins with very different needs and personalities. The clearer the better for us right now! It's also a great way to get them involved and understanding what's happening each day, especially helpful for planning ahead when they're older. I love it when people find solutions like this that really work!

 

[mamamia]

I agree visuals are so important with multiples - we have triplets and used a visual chart for ages, still do some days when things get crazy! We've gone through stages of using different colours, symbols etc as their personalities emerged and needs changed. It's such a great way to help them understand and prepare them for the day and what's expected of them, especially helpful for those tricky pre-literacy years.

 

[wellness]

Visuals have definitely been our saving grace too! We've used a mix of pictures and words - the latter especially helps with learning to read and also prepares them for independent living, being able to understand instructions etc. Agree that it's an absolute life hack for the pre-literacy years though... so helpful for giving them some autonomy and agency, even when they're little! Also a great way to give some structure to the day - we've found routine and predictability especially important with our multiples crew.

 

[bananarama]

Visual schedules are a life saver! We've had so much success with them, even beyond the pre-literacy years - I find that visuals help keep everyone calm because they know what to expect. It's especially helpful for our twice weekly sports practices - having the visual schedule stuck on the fridge helps the kids prepare mentally for the upcoming session. They're also great for reminding me too, so I can ensure I've packed all the right gear!

I've found that using a combination of pictures and words works well, especially as they learn to associate the written word with the visual cue - and it's such a helpful tool for promoting independence too. It's amazing how quickly they pick up on the routine and it gives them a real sense of security, which is so heartwarming to see.

 

[nature]

That's awesome! We've also found success with schedules too - I think it really helps the kids feel more involved and aware of what's coming up, especially for those trickier transitions. Visually seeing their day laid out seems to give them a sense of control which is so great, and like you said, it's wonderful watching them pick up on the routine.

What sort of activities do you include on your schedules? I find having a variety of different types of activities represented really helps prepare everyone - especially those unpredictable outdoor adventures! Do you make your own picture cues or use stock images/stickers? Always keen to hear about other peoples' hacks!

 

[travelmum]

We keep things simple and use a combination of words and pictures, catering the vocabulary to the appropriate age group - for younger kids we use lots of pictures with a word or two beneath each activity, and for older kids we add more detail and explain transitions .

For outdoor activities, we don't always know what the plan is until the day unfolds, so we have a few generic outdoor images - one might be going to the park, another might be the beach, going on a bushwalk etc., that can be used to represent those unpredictable adventures. We found some great sticker sheets with lots of different outdoor scenes that were perfect for this!

We change up the schedule every few months which helps keep it exciting - sometimes we theme it around current interests or an upcoming holiday too which the kids love, and often makes the transitions between activities a little easier when there's a fun theme involved.

It's so nice hearing about everyone's different strategies!

 

[happyfeet]

That's really thoughtful and intentional of you! Themes are a great idea to keep the displays interesting—I'm sure the kids love the surprise element too, especially when it's centered around their interests. It's wonderful to hear how you're adapting the communication strategy based on the age group too; seems like a very inclusive approach!

 

[greenfingers]

Themes have worked really well for engagement and the kids love the element of surprise, especially when it's something they're familiar with and love. The older kids enjoy trying to guess the next theme too, and it's a great way to spark conversations! Adapting the language is so important - I feel like that really helps make everyone feel included in the fun.

 

[sportytina]

Themes are an awesome way to keep the classes exciting and inclusive! I love the idea of adapting the language too, especially for the little ones trying to follow along. What other strategies do you use to make sure all your students can access the themes and keep up the momentum? Keeping the difficulty level appropriate must be a challenge with such a wide age range!