Parenting solo

[sunflower]

I'm curious to hear other parents' experiences with parenting alone. Whether you're divorced, widowed, or have always been a single parent, what do you find most challenging about it? And what strategies/coping mechanisms help you stay afloat?

Also, are there any specific challenges you've faced that other solo parents might relate to? I think sharing stories and gathering advice from one another could be incredibly beneficial.

 

[techsavvy]

As a divorced parent, the hardest thing for me is juggling work and childcare - especially when my kiddo was younger and needed more hands-on care. I often felt guilty that I couldn't give him the attention he deserved, but managing my career and finances alone was overwhelming at times.

To keep sane, I had to become creative with time management and delegate when possible. I involved extended family and reached out to friends for babysitting swaps. My kiddo also spent a lot of time with his grandparents, who were grateful to have quality time with him. As he grew older, I found activities that kept him engaged - sports, clubs, etc. - which gave me some me-time to recharge.

The other difficult aspect was managing the mental load on my own - doctor's appointments, school events, remembering everything! Organization and lists helped, but it was a constant juggling act.

I'd love to hear others' experiences and any creative solutions they've found for the challenges of solo parenting!

 

[sunflower]

Time management is a big challenge, especially when they're young. I found success with a visual calendar - it helped me keep track of appointments and events and taught my kids valuable organizational skills too, as they got older.

I also relied heavily on family and friends for support, especially for babysitting. It's hard to ask for help, but you'd be surprised how many people are willing to step up when you need a hand. Don't be afraid to delegate - it's a learning curve but is so important in managing the juggling act!

It sounds like you've got a great system going with your kiddo's activities - that me-time is essential for your own sanity, and it's beneficial for them to have these outlets too.

The mental load can be overwhelming; I found making lists the night before helped me feel more prepared for the next day. Also, involving your kids in planning and reminding helps too, giving them some responsibility as they grow older can ease the burden.

It's definitely a constant juggling act, but it sounds like you're doing an amazing job! Would love to hear other strategies people have found helpful.

 

[musical]

Time management is a big challenge, especially when they're young. I found success with a visual calendar - it helped me keep track of appointments and events and taught my kids valuable organizational skills too, as they got older.

I also relied heavily on family and friends for support, especially for babysitting. It's hard to ask for help, but you'd be surprised how many people are willing to step up when you need a hand. Don't be afraid to delegate - it's a learning curve but is so important in managing the juggling act!

It sounds like you've got a great system going with your kiddo's activities - that me-time is essential for your own sanity, and it's beneficial for them to have these outlets too.

The mental load can be overwhelming; I found making lists the night before helped me feel more prepared for the next day. Also, involving your kids in planning and reminding helps too, giving them some responsibility as they grow older can ease the burden.

It's definitely a constant juggling act, but it sounds like you're doing an amazing job! Would love to hear other strategies people have found helpful.

Having some me-time is definitely crucial for solo parents to recharge, which in turn helps us be more present and patient with our little ones. I've found that carving out special "dad/mom-and-me" time also helps build stronger bonds and creates special memories - whether it's a weekly picnic date or a fun craft session, those dedicated moments make the tough times more manageable.

And you're so right about support systems; they're a Godsend! I think reaching out to other parents - especially those who've been there - is such an important reminder that we're not alone in our struggles. Connection and community can do wonders for our mindset, which eventually benefits our little families too.

What other strategies have you found effective in keeping yourself sane and your kiddo happy?

 

[greenfingers]

Time management is a big challenge, especially when they're young. I found success with a visual calendar - it helped me keep track of appointments and events and taught my kids valuable organizational skills too, as they got older.

I also relied heavily on family and friends for support, especially for babysitting. It's hard to ask for help, but you'd be surprised how many people are willing to step up when you need a hand. Don't be afraid to delegate - it's a learning curve but is so important in managing the juggling act!

It sounds like you've got a great system going with your kiddo's activities - that me-time is essential for your own sanity, and it's beneficial for them to have these outlets too.

The mental load can be overwhelming; I found making lists the night before helped me feel more prepared for the next day. Also, involving your kids in planning and reminding helps too, giving them some responsibility as they grow older can ease the burden.

It's definitely a constant juggling act, but it sounds like you're doing an amazing job! Would love to hear other strategies people have found helpful.

As the solo parent of 2 young children, I can relate to the challenges you face! My strategies include rigorous scheduling and prioritizing self-care.

I use different colored stickers for each family member's activities, doctor's appointments, etc., so everyone knows what's coming up. Visual cues help my kids prepare too - we're all on the same page. My calendar also has reminders for school events, holidays, and birthdays, so no surprises!

Self-care is essential with two young ones. I make sure to schedule time for myself weekly - whether it's an actual workout class or a quiet coffee catch up with a friend while my kids are at their activities. This helps me stay energized and patient with my kids.

Keeping up with household chores is another challenge. I involve my older kiddo in age-appropriate tasks, like setting the table, sorting laundry, or wiping down surfaces. It's a start to teaching independence and also frees up some of my time.

What other ways do you all keep things running smoothly?

 

[sportytina]

As the solo parent of 2 young children, I can relate to the challenges you face! My strategies include rigorous scheduling and prioritizing self-care.

I use different colored stickers for each family member's activities, doctor's appointments, etc., so everyone knows what's coming up. Visual cues help my kids prepare too - we're all on the same page. My calendar also has reminders for school events, holidays, and birthdays, so no surprises!

Self-care is essential with two young ones. I make sure to schedule time for myself weekly - whether it's an actual workout class or a quiet coffee catch up with a friend while my kids are at their activities. This helps me stay energized and patient with my kids.

Keeping up with household chores is another challenge. I involve my older kiddo in age-appropriate tasks, like setting the table, sorting laundry, or wiping down surfaces. It's a start to teaching independence and also frees up some of my time.

What other ways do you all keep things running smoothly?

I've found that giving my kids some autonomy, especially with decision making, helps them feel involved and important - within reason, of course! Simple choices like letting them pick the family meal for the night or choose their outfits can ease some of the daily pressures. It empowers them and gives a sense of control, which seems to help with behavioral issues too.

For household chores, I make it into a game - who can finish their chores first or who can make the best-sorted pile of laundry? Even though there's still work involved, adding an element of play makes it more enjoyable and bonds us as a "team."

Also, as much as we try to avoid screen time, I've found that some independent screen time for my kids gives me precious time to recharge or finish some household chores without distraction. A quiet house can be a rare luxury! That said, too much screen time can make behavior challenging, so it's about finding the right balance for us.

Are there other veteran solo parents here who've mastered the art of independent screen time without negative impacts? Any tips for keeping the peace when the kids are bored and energetic indoors?

 

[lioness]

I've found that giving my kids some autonomy, especially with decision making, helps them feel involved and important - within reason, of course! Simple choices like letting them pick the family meal for the night or choose their outfits can ease some of the daily pressures. It empowers them and gives a sense of control, which seems to help with behavioral issues too.

For household chores, I make it into a game - who can finish their chores first or who can make the best-sorted pile of laundry? Even though there's still work involved, adding an element of play makes it more enjoyable and bonds us as a "team."

Also, as much as we try to avoid screen time, I've found that some independent screen time for my kids gives me precious time to recharge or finish some household chores without distraction. A quiet house can be a rare luxury! That said, too much screen time can make behavior challenging, so it's about finding the right balance for us.

Are there other veteran solo parents here who've mastered the art of independent screen time without negative impacts? Any tips for keeping the peace when the kids are bored and energetic indoors?

As a single mum, my biggest challenge has been discipline and setting boundaries, especially as my 2 kids get older (9 and 12). When you're tired after a long day, it's easy to give in or let things slide.

But I've found that being consistent with consequences teaches them responsibility for their actions. If you say no TV until chores are done - stick to it! At first, this was met with lots of resistance but eventually became the new norm.

For screen time, we have "tech-free" days and the kids actually look forward to it now because they know it's special bonding time with me - no distractions. We bake, do arts and crafts or go outdoors, and that also gives me time to disconnect from work emails too! It's amazing how creative you can get when screen time is limited; a game of shadow puppets never gets old!

As for indoor energetic outbursts, I got creative and invested in some glow-in-the-dark sports gear like small basketball hoops and glow sticks. My kids love their "Glow Showdowns" - even better when the lights are off! It tires them out and is fun for me to watch their imaginative games.

How do you handle disciplining your little ones solo? Any tips for keeping up the energy required for solo parenting while managing work and home life would be welcome!

 

[techsavvy]

As a single mum, my biggest challenge has been discipline and setting boundaries, especially as my 2 kids get older (9 and 12). When you're tired after a long day, it's easy to give in or let things slide.

But I've found that being consistent with consequences teaches them responsibility for their actions. If you say no TV until chores are done - stick to it! At first, this was met with lots of resistance but eventually became the new norm.

For screen time, we have "tech-free" days and the kids actually look forward to it now because they know it's special bonding time with me - no distractions. We bake, do arts and crafts or go outdoors, and that also gives me time to disconnect from work emails too! It's amazing how creative you can get when screen time is limited; a game of shadow puppets never gets old!

As for indoor energetic outbursts, I got creative and invested in some glow-in-the-dark sports gear like small basketball hoops and glow sticks. My kids love their "Glow Showdowns" - even better when the lights are off! It tires them out and is fun for me to watch their imaginative games.

How do you handle disciplining your little ones solo? Any tips for keeping up the energy required for solo parenting while managing work and home life would be welcome!

Consistency is key, especially with setting boundaries, as you've mentioned. As a solo parent, I often feel the weight of having the final word on everything - from discipline to major decisions. It can be exhausting!

I've found that writing out specific rules and consequences together with my kids helps us all understand the expectations. We even negotiated some of the punishments to make them reasonable for everyone. This 'family contract' is pinned up where we can all see it, so there's no misunderstanding - I'm not the bad guy, the rulebook is!

For keeping up energy levels, I actually schedule down time. It seems counterintuitive, but taking a break during the day - even half an hour for meditation or quiet reading - helps me recharge. I also make sure to exercise regularly so that my body and mind are used to staying active. Knowing other solo parents in a similar situation provides great support too - we often share tips and take turns hosting low-key playdates, which gives everyone a break from their own four walls!

As far as work, I try to stay organized the night before, preparing meals and laying out clothes to reduce morning stress. Having an efficient routine saves time and sanity! And sometimes, we just have those days where everything goes wrong. Cut yourself some slack, order in takeout, and curl up on the couch - tomorrow's a new day!

Does anyone else swear by specific apps or tools that keep parenting solo a little saner? Any life-changing hacks for us?

 

[mamamia]

Consistency is so vital, especially when you're trying to instill some discipline! It's also exhausting!!

I love the family contract idea - it's amazing how taking away the 'unknown' factor for kids can really help them understand boundaries. And negotiating some elements really helps them buy into those rules too.

Scheduling downtime is so important, as is having a solid support network of other parents - in-person and online. Having people to reach out to, share ideas with, and who understand what you're going through is such a help.

Organising the night before is a great tip - I also find it helps the next day run smoother too. And yes, some days just aren't going to go well no matter what! Haha, those are the days to not beat yourself up, have a glass of wine and start fresh tomorrow!

I use an app called 'Family Calendar' which helps me keep on top of appointments, extra-curriculars and birthdays - it's really helped me stay on track. I'd also recommend a good old fashioned white board for the kitchen; I write meal plans, shopping lists and little reminders up there which helps things run smoothly.

What apps do you guys use? Any recommendations for a family communication app? Something simple but effective would be great!

 

[travelmum]

Consistency really is key; I find writing things down and having visual reminders helps, especially when it comes to remembering all those extra-curricular activities! I've tried using apps like Family Calendar but tend to forget to check them, so now I just use Apple's Reminders app, which syncs across my phone and laptop – helpful for quick notes and lists.

I agree having a support network is vital; it's so useful to have others in a similar situation to bounce ideas off and get some perspective. It's reassuring too – you realise everyone has those days where nothing goes right! It's good to keep the lines of communication open about what works, especially as children grow and change, and you have to adapt your approach.

I've found negotiating with my kids and involving them in decisions helps them understand the 'why' behind certain rules and encourages them to buy into the family 'system'. It also prepares them for later life, equipping them with essential skills for making their own decisions.

I like the idea of a family contract – clearly outlining expectations and boundaries. I might add that a level of flexibility is beneficial too, to show that rules can be adjusted as situations change and that you're willing to listen and adapt (to an extent!).

I'd be interested in hearing about any recommendations for family communication apps as well! Something that keeps everything in one place would be handy – notes, calendars, reminders, etc.

 

[bubblyfish]

Writing it down is so useful - I have so many lists and notes stuck everywhere! I agree about keeping lines of communication open; it's so true that kids need to understand the reasoning behind rules, especially as they get older.

I've found an old-school notice board really helpful, with sections for each day of the week - I can plan ahead, see upcoming events and change things if plans alter. I use sticky notes and have a 'star' system for important reminders that I need to remember frequently! It's very satisfying to rip them off when they're done though!

I'm also going to adopt the idea of a family contract - I like the visual aspect and having clear, defined rules that everyone can see. Like you, I think having some flexibility is key too; it's important the kids understand that rules aren't set in stone and can change with circumstances, and it's good for them to see that up front.

I've heard Family Wall is a great app for keeping everything in one place - notes, messages, photos, calendars etc. I haven't used it personally but might give it a go based on the recommendation of some friends!

 

[greenfingers]

I have also heard about Family Wall being a great app, and it's good to hear first-hand recommendations from your friends. I like the idea of having one place for all the information, especially as kids grow older and have more responsibilities - but also keeping some tradition too, with the notice board!

The star system on sticky notes is such a great idea - very visual and satisfying! And I agree that having defined rules/expectations in sight is so helpful, especially when little ones are old enough to read and absorb them. It's a great way to encourage independence - they can refer to the 'rules' themselves and understand what's expected of them.

 

[mamamia]

I have also heard about Family Wall being a great app, and it's good to hear first-hand recommendations from your friends. I like the idea of having one place for all the information, especially as kids grow older and have more responsibilities - but also keeping some tradition too, with the notice board!

The star system on sticky notes is such a great idea - very visual and satisfying! And I agree that having defined rules/expectations in sight is so helpful, especially when little ones are old enough to read and absorb them. It's a great way to encourage independence - they can refer to the 'rules' themselves and understand what's expected of them.

Ya, the good old notice board has definitely got character too! And kids enjoying moving those stars and visual cues around. A digital app just doesn't give you the same satisfaction... haha! Family Wall is definitely worth a shot; it has lots of useful features like messaging too which is great for when they're older. Have a great weekend ahead!Do you guys have any other tips on keeping on top of parenting admin and staying sane? ;D

 

[queenie]

The old school methods never fail - there's something very satisfying about the tangible, like noticing your child's growth over time with the height chart or moving those stars around! Apps are useful too, but it's nice to have a physical keepsake and record of their development for years to come. Family Wall has been great for our family too - the messaging feature comes in handy especially now that they're older, and we can keep track of everything in one place! Hope you find some good hacks to keep sane - it's definitely an art!

 

[sunnydays]

The old school methods never fail - there's something very satisfying about the tangible, like noticing your child's growth over time with the height chart or moving those stars around! Apps are useful too, but it's nice to have a physical keepsake and record of their development for years to come. Family Wall has been great for our family too - the messaging feature comes in handy especially now that they're older, and we can keep track of everything in one place! Hope you find some good hacks to keep sane - it's definitely an art!

I second the growth chart - a simple marker on the door frame becomes such a wonderful memento years down the road. The little rituals like these are what I cherish now that my kid's all grown up. Enjoy these moments!

 

[greenfingers]

Those little rituals and visual mementos are so special - especially as time seems to fly by so quickly! I love the idea of physically seeing their growth charted and being able to look back on it too.

 

[musical]

Those little rituals and visual mementos are so special - especially as time seems to fly by so quickly! I love the idea of physically seeing their growth charted and being able to look back on it too.

It's the little things that make parenting fulfilling! Those special, almost accidental traditions you create as a family are often the most memorable.

 

[wellness]

The unexpected and unspoken rule of parenting is that some of the best moments are the ones we accidentally stumble into - they're so pure and meaningful because no one planned them! It's like the universe conspired to create these little pockets of joy, and before we know it, they become the things our kids look forward to the most.

Like my daughter and her love for star-gazing, which started as a one-off activity but is now a weekly event. Or the spontaneous dance parties that seem to heal any wound on bad days - the kids (and I) just let loose! These little traditions connect us, give our kids something to look forward to, and create the most wonderful memories.

What are some of these accidental family traditions you've created?

 

[sportytina]

The unexpected and unspoken rule of parenting is that some of the best moments are the ones we accidentally stumble into - they're so pure and meaningful because no one planned them! It's like the universe conspired to create these little pockets of joy, and before we know it, they become the things our kids look forward to the most.

Like my daughter and her love for star-gazing, which started as a one-off activity but is now a weekly event. Or the spontaneous dance parties that seem to heal any wound on bad days - the kids (and I) just let loose! These little traditions connect us, give our kids something to look forward to, and create the most wonderful memories.

What are some of these accidental family traditions you've created?

We accidentally cultivated a love for scavenger hunts in my household! What started as a bored afternoon activity turned into a fortnightly occurrence where I'd hide clues around the house leading to a small prize or treats. It's become a fun way to keep the kids entertained and engage their critical thinking skills too. They now take turns creating hunts for each other, which has become a lovely bonding moment for them as well.

And yes, like you said, these happy surprises are little gems that make solo parenting feel so much more manageable - they're like our secret weapons!

 

[happyfeet]

What a fantastic idea! It's wonderful how you've turned an accidental tradition into a fun and educational activity for your kids. It's great to hear that they're now creating hunts for each other - it's a lovely way for them to bond and keep themselves entertained.

Solo parenting can be a challenge, so it's always encouraging to discover these little gems that make the journey a lot more enjoyable. Keep up the good work, and keep us posted on your scavenger hunt adventures!