Mum, I need answers!

[sunflower]

Spoiler: Thread summary

sunflower is worried about their mother's recent strange behaviour, including newfound secrecy and increased outings. The cause of concern also stems from some unusual messages sunflower found on her phone, along with dismissiveness and distance from their mother. Other users offer supportive and insightful advice, recommending that sunflower approach their mother with concern rather than accusation, keeping in mind the possibility of illness or embarrassment behind the changes. The importance of creating a comfortable environment for their mother to freely share what's going on is emphasized.

The discussion then shifts towards a beautiful venue shared in a photo, likely related to an upcoming wedding or special event, complimenting it as a stunning and sentimentally valuable location. Several users offer congratulations and well wishes, reflecting on the fast pace of life and the excitement of upcoming milestones. Some share their strategies for cherishing these moments, including taking photos, journaling, and involving older children in baby care. The thread concludes with warm feelings and best wishes for the unknown special event.

I'm at my wit's end and I really hope someone here can help me. I feel like my mum has been behaving strangely recently - she's been distant and almost secretive, it's so unlike her!

I found some strange messages on her phone yesterday and when I asked her about them, she just said it was nothing and that I didn't need to worry about it - but I do! She dismissed me again today and even snapped at me, which isn't like her at all either. She's also been going out a lot more than usual, often in the evenings, saying she's 'meeting a friend' but she never tells me who.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of behaviour from their mum and what on earth could be going on? I'm so worried she's hiding something big from me - and it's killing me not knowing!

 

[wellness]

It certainly sounds worrying, and I can understand your concern.

The first thing to consider is your mother's general demeanour and health - has she seemed unwell recently, or different in her mood or energy levels? Changes in behaviour could be a sign of physical illness, especially if other health issues have recently been diagnosed or symptoms have begun appearing. It might be wise to consider if any changes you've noticed could be linked to potential medical conditions; sudden behavioural changes can often be an early indicator.

In terms of the messages and her newfound secrecy, has she ever given any hints about who she's been messaging or meeting up with? Could it be an old friend or extended family member? Sometimes secrets are kept not because of anything sinister, but because the person feels embarrassed - for instance, if they've recently made a new friend outside of their usual social circle and feel a bit sensitive about it.

While it's natural to worry about unexplained outings and secrecy, remember that adults also value their independence and private lives, and often rightly so. If you can, try to approach her with concern rather than accusation - it could be that she senses your feelings of being 'left out' and this might prompt her to open up more.

Does she normally respect your curiosity or have secrets kept between you been the norm? Could there be a new job, hobby, or interest that she's recently gotten into which she'd like to share - but doesn't know how without giving away her current secretive behaviour?

Try not to jump straight to conclusions; mystery and intrigue can often be benign. Try speaking with her at a calm moment and express your concern while also emphasising that you're there for her and want to understand, not judge. You might find she opens up about whatever is going on.

 

[mamamia]

Great points, I will try to keep an eye out for any physical signs and symptoms, though she seems quite well. Her appetite hasn’t changed which is a good sign at least!

You’re right that there could be embarrassment or sensitivity behind the secrecy; it definitely wouldn’t be the first time she’s kept in touch with an old friend without telling me. And you’re also right that I should think about how I approach her - I don’t want to come across as accusatory, though it’s hard not to when I’m so curious and a bit paranoid something bad is happening!

I think the key for now is just trying to get her to open up, and creating a space where she feels comfortable sharing whatever it is. I’ll let you know how it goes - thank you so much for your perspective, it’s very helpful having another opinion to calm me down and give me some guidance!

 

[chickadee]

You've got a good, level-headed outlook and I think your plan to create a comfortable space where she feels able to open up is a great strategy. Keep an eye on things and let us know if you need further input - we're happy to help! That photo is really calming too - beautiful part of the world.

 

[wellness]

Thank you for the kind words re my Mum plan and also for your compliment about the photo - it's so appreciate because it's one I took myself! We've a family connection to that location which is special & dear to us all, and it certainly does feel like a peaceful place - hopefully that can be translated into a comfortable environment where she feels safe to talk. Will keep you posted on how things go - thankyou again for the input!

 

[stargazer]

You're welcome - I'm glad you have such a special place in mind, and I think your plan sounds lovely and thoughtful. Looking forward to hearing how things go.

 

[techsavvy]

I appreciate it! It's such a pretty location and holds a lot of significance too. I hope it'll all come together perfectly.

 

[bananarama]

The venue is amazing - a perfect combination of beauty, sentiment and excellent marriage prospects! I have no doubts that it will be everything you hope for and more, Congratulations again!

 

[lioness]

The venue looks stunning! Thanks so much for sharing the image - what an exciting time, congratulations again!

 

[bananarama]

Thank you so much!! We're beyond excited! Still lots of planning to do but it's coming together nicely!! Can't believe my little baby is all grown up and getting married!!! x

 

[sunnydays]

It goes so fast, doesn't it? One minute they're your little baby, the next they're all grown up! It's such a wonderful occasion - enjoy every moment and congratulations again! x

 

[greenfingers]

It really does! I feel like time is just flashing by and before we know it, they're all grown up and moving on to the next phase of their lives. Thank you for your kind wishes - will definitely cherish every moment.

 

[koala]

The phases are so rapid - enjoy each one and keep a record because it's easy to forget some of those wonderful milestones. They grow up so quickly and it's such a privilege to watch them navigate each new phase. Cherish away - it's a beautiful journey watching them grow.

 

[joyful]

So true, it's a blur of phases! I'm making an extra effort to take lots of photos and videos so we can look back on them - and also writing a little journal too because sometimes you forget what came first or when things happened! And now that they're getting older, I involve my older toddler in the baby care which he loves - helps him feel involved and useful and gives me a break! Bonus all round!

 

[koala]

That's such a good idea to involve your older toddler! I'm sure it makes your older child feel so special, while giving you that bit of extra help - win-win! And keeping a journal is a lovely keepsake too, great idea x

 

[techsavvy]

Totally! I love how it's also helping to develop their fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination too - such an added bonus! And you're right about it being a lovely keepsake, it's so sweet to look back on her little scribbles and notes x

 

[wellness]

It's amazing how many benefits there are to something that seems so simple! It's those added bonuses that make it extra special and such a lovely activity to encourage. And you're so right about it being lovely to keep those early scribbles - it's incredible to look back on their progression too, especially when they're so little! x

 

[bananarama]

It really is incredible how art can benefit children in so many ways! It's lovely to keep those mementos and watch their progress, it goes by so quickly too which makes it extra special! I think it's wonderful that you're encouraging this and I'm sure they appreciate it so much!

 

[queenie]

Thank you so much! They do appreciate it, and I love it when they proudly show me their art. Keeping their artwork helps me reflect on how quickly they're growing and developing - it's truly special. There's so much talent to uncover and encourage! Art will definitely continue to be a huge part of our lives.

 

[sunnybunny]

You're right, art is such a beautiful way to express yourself and it's wonderful that you're fostering that in your children! It's precious to look back on their artwork and see how they've developed over time too - a great keepsake!