Mom's Milk Methods

[wellness]

The "five minute method" (also known as the "5-minute rule") is often recommended to help establish effective latching and frequent feeding - even when a mother seems still 'engaged' with her newborn, possibly dozing or half-asleep, rather than actually actively engaged in feeding. In practice, this typically means allowing an infant to self initiate feedings - that being, simply put before mum's breast for longer than would be considered usual. The underlying assumption is the more frequently, and earlier on during a 24 hour period (e.g., more often, in early hours), milk will 'kick in'. As such there are concerns over what this may mean in terms of both mother and child sleep habits - especially as many mothers find it stressful to be awake multiple times at night while trying to allow infants the frequent daytime/late evening feedings they need.

 

[queenie]

I personally have used the 5-minute rule with my first baby and I found it was helpful for establishing a good latch, but now I'm worried about the impact on our sleep. My second child is only a few months younger than my first, but they seem to be able to self-feed at more normal intervals - do you think that might just be a case of learning from experience or are there actual physiological changes in infant development around 6-9 months? I'm hoping someone can advise whether its just a normal stage that all babies go through and the frequency of daytime feeds will normalise with it too.

 

[wellness]

It sounds like you've used the 5-minute rule successfully with your first child, but are now seeing a different picture with your second baby. The 5-minute rule can help establish good latching, as it ensures that milk letsdown before feeding begins. However, it's not unusual for babies to self-feed at varying intervals in their development. Research suggests that around 6-9 months, there may be some physiological changes that occur, such as increased ability to regulate hunger and satiety. In terms of the impact on sleep, it might simply be a case of learning from previous experience with your first child. Some mothers find that frequent nighttime wakings give them more opportunities to bond with their babies. Is there anything specific about these changes with your second baby that's particularly concerning you?

 

[queenie]

To be honest, I think we're hitting a wall because my first child is still at home, and it feels like they're needing more attention right now. My second baby sleeps really well during the day, which is lovely, but it's almost as if my older child is somehow more active or restless when my second is sleeping, so I'm not getting those precious moments of relaxation that make having a toddler so bearable.

It also feels like we're just stuck in this tired cycle where my first baby wakes at 6am every day, and we have to get up and feed them while the second one still needs night feeds. It's hard to balance it all. Maybe our household is just going through one of those phases, but I was hoping for a bit more continuity and less tension between caring for two under 2. It feels like managing my first baby's schedule is enough on its own!

 

[wisdom]

I have found myself getting caught up in making sure my older child feels secure and seen, and not just surviving until nap time or bedtime. It's like, they still need the reassurance and interaction from me, which is understandable given their age, but it can feel overwhelming.

I've been trying to think of ways to make these early mornings more bearable. I know some people swear by waking up at 5am with a cup of coffee or exercising before getting the kids going for the day, but honestly, that sounds like my worst nightmare! Do you guys have any tips on how to survive these chaotic morning hours? Are there any specific parenting methods or routines that have worked for you?

 

[eternity]

I'm a fan of '5 S' morning routine, which I use to create a sense of order and calm first thing. It's simple: sort, sweep, shine, standardize and sustain - focusing on keeping surfaces tidy, doing one quick load of laundry or tidying a specific area of the home, quickly wiping down high-touch areas like doorknobs or remotes with a Clorox wipe. You can adjust it to suit what works best for you and your morning, but the goal is to set yourself up in some way so that you feel more prepared and able to tackle the day ahead. This can help alleviate some of the morning stress, at least for me! Has anyone else found this helpful or are there other routines that have worked better?

 

[wisdom]

I've used '5 S' and really liked it. However, I have to say it's been more effective for me on days when I'd planned activities outside the home, like running errands or meeting friends/colleagues. If I had a busy day ahead with minimal scheduled downtime, it did help give me a sense of control, but not always as much on more relaxed days where I might be just working from home. One thing that surprised me is how quickly I started habituating to the '5 S' routine even if my morning wasn't super structured - sort of like, after following 1-2 weeks, it stopped feeling so important, and even sometimes, I'd think, "Oh yeah, I forgot what day it was!" or something. Not really sure what to make of that. Do any other routines that you've tried stick with you long-term?

 

[joyful]

I think that's a great point about how it can feel less necessary on more relaxed days! I find myself doing similar routines even when they were helpful in more specific contexts, like exercise or studying - but not necessarily in everyday life at home.

One routine I used to stick with was making a 'stop doing' list each week. It started as a way to evaluate my current tasks and habits, identifying ones that weren't necessary anymore. Over time, however, it transformed into more of a general reminder to be mindful of activities that could be streamlined or optimized for efficiency.

For instance, I used to spend hours daily scrolling through social media - mostly mindlessly, rather than intentionally engaging with friends or community posts. When making my 'stop doing' list, I realized how much time was wasted and decided to set a monthly limit instead. Since then, I've made adjustments to minimize unnecessary screen time and prioritize activities that bring me value and joy.

I'm wondering what your own experience has been with routines - have you found yourself continuing to follow certain habits even after they initially became less helpful?'