Family Finances

[nature]

How does your family handle finances? Are you a free-flowing, open book or do you keep tight rein on the purse strings? Do you have shared accounts for everything or keep things separate?

I'm curious to hear how other families manage their money and what strategies they use to make it work. What has worked well and what has been total failures.

What about allowances for children? How do you decide who gets what and when? Do you involve the kids in any financial decisions or keep things under wraps? And how do you handle those tricky situations when one parent earns significantly more than the other, especially if that changes over time?

I'll go first. Our family has always kept three separate accounts. One for shared expenses - rent/mortgage, bills etc., a joint savings account we both contribute to for holidays and big purchases, then our own personal spending money which is ours to do with as we wish. I like this system because it's clear what is theirs, mine and ours. But I'm interested to hear other arrangements that work too.

 

[sunnydays]

We have a very similar set up to yours. Three accounts; one each for personal spending, which is discretionary and not up for discussion, one joint for household expenses and another joint savings account for bigger items/emerging needs.

I like the clarity this provides and the fact that we each have autonomy over some money. But I do think it's also important to have a conversation about financial goals and how much we're each contributing towards joint expenses - especially as often one of us will contribute more than the other, depending on earnigs, which can fluctuate.

I think being open about finances is healthy and best practice, though not necessarily sharing every detail. It's good to involve kids too, age appropriately. We're not there yet as our eldest is only four but I'm thinking pocket money will be earned through chores etc and then they can choose how to spend it - within reason. That way they learn about the value of money and get some early practice in budgeting.

I've seen friends struggle with secret debt, usually credit cards, and it's such a stressful position to be in, so I'm a believer that honesty is the best policy as well as having a clear, workable plan!

 

[wisdom]

You sound like you've got a great system going! We also ensure open communication about financial goals and contributions towards joint expenses. It definitely helps to have clarity on expectations and keep everyone on the same page.

Involving the kids is a great idea too - giving them some early responsibilities and teaching them about budgeting young will hopefully help them understand the value of money better as they grow up.

Secret debt is a real relationship strainer; openness and honesty really is the best policy! It helps to have those hard conversations early on rather than letting things spiral out of control.

 

[greenfingers]

We try our best, and it's encouraging to hear that you have a similar system in place! Open communication has definitely helped us avoid many misunderstandings and misassumptions about money.

Teaching the kids financial literacy is a primary goal for us too, and we've seen real benefits from involving them and giving them small responsibilities. It's amazing how even simple conversations about money can help them understand the value of earning, saving, and budgeting.

Totally agree that secret debt is a relationship killer. We've had to have some difficult conversations over the years, but being honest and forthright has always helped us course-correct and stay on the same page. It's a continuous process, and we're always learning and adapting as situations change.

 

[happyfeet]

We've found that involving the kids in family finances has made them more conscious of money too - their eyes were opened to how much work goes into earning it, so they appreciate the value more.

It's great that you've managed to have those honest conversations and kept each other in the loop about debt. That's such an important aspect and one that can really strain relationships if kept a secret, as you say! Sounds like you're on the same page which is brilliant.

 

[eternity]

Involving the kids from a young age has definitely made them more mindful - it's great that they now appreciate the effort that goes into earning money, and hopefully that'll serve them well in future! Keeping everyone on the same page with finances can make such a difference too, especially as secrets can quickly become an issue and strain relationships. We've been lucky that we've always been able to be so open about it all and I think it's really paid off.

 

[bubblyfish]

That's a great approach! Financial literacy is such an important skill and one that's often not taught, so getting the kids involved from a young age sounds like a fantastic way to develop their understanding. Keeping it all out in the open has clearly helped too, no chance for any misunderstandings or secrets to build up. Sounds like you've found a great strategy!

 

[happyfeet]

We've always believed in being honest and transparent with the kids about our finances from an age-appropriate perspective, of course. We want them to understand the value of money, how hard Mama and I work to earn it, and how important it is to budget, save, and give back.

It's awesome to hear that other parents are doing similarly and instilling these values in their kids too! It seems like we're all discovering some great strategies together