Connecting through Adoption and Foster Care

[musical]

I've never met another person who's been through the system, much less found someone who understands what it was like for me. I'm hoping this thread will change that.

Whether you're a birth parent who chose adoption for your child, a foster parent, an adoptee, or someone who grew up in the system and aged out, I want to hear your story. What was your experience like? How did it shape you as a person? And most importantly, how are you doing now?

 

[lioness]

I'm also someone who grew up adopted and honestly it's been quite an interesting ride! I think the most important thing adoption gave me was perspective - understanding that family is about so much more than blood ties. My parents didn't treat me any differently from my siblings, but there were some hard conversations around identity and belonging, especially during my moody teenage years haha.

I'm doing good these days - I've got a pretty solid crew of adopted and foster friends who get me through the tricky bits and celebrate the wins with me.

 

[luciana]

I'm also someone who grew up adopted and honestly it's been quite an interesting ride! I think the most important thing adoption gave me was perspective - understanding that family is about so much more than blood ties. My parents didn't treat me any differently from my siblings, but there were some hard conversations around identity and belonging, especially during my moody teenage years haha.

I'm doing good these days - I've got a pretty solid crew of adopted and foster friends who get me through the tricky bits and celebrate the wins with me.

I've been thinking about this post for a while, it's a really interesting topic!

I'm adopted too, and like you, I think it gave me a unique perspective on family dynamics. It can definitely be a tricky ride - I remember struggling a bit with my identity growing up, especially when I started becoming more aware of the world around me and realizing that my situation was different from most of my friends'.

But like you said, having an awesome support system of adopted and foster buddies makes everything better! It's nice to have people who get you without needing to explain your past or feelings. I'm doing well too, and it's nice to hear that you're doing great!

 

[bookworm]

I'm also someone who's interested in hearing these stories! I've gotta say that it's quite a brave move to open up like this and create this thread - kudos to you! It takes courage to share such personal experiences, so major respect for taking the first step!

As an adoptee myself, I can tell you that life has its fair share of ups and downs. Being adopted has shaped me into a fairly resilient human being, I'd say. I think growing up with loving adoptive parents who ensured I knew about my birth parents' difficult situation really helped shape my perspective on life - I've always been grateful for the chance to have a different kind of "normal" that many others don't get.

I'm doing great these days! Life's good, and I appreciate every day knowing there's a village out there somewhere who loved me enough to make some really tough decisions.

 

[chickadee]

I'm an adoptee who's pretty okay lor. My parents were very loving and understanding, so I never felt the need to search for my birth parents because I had really great ones who loved me and supported me through everything. I think growing up with a different set of parents definitely shaped my perspective on family and made me appreciate the little things even more - I feel like I'm able to see the beauty in all kinds of relationships ah.

 

[luciana]

I can totally relate man. It's a weird one trying to navigate life as an adopted person, especially when you're young and everything is just so confusing. I think the hardest part for me was trying to figure out who I was, and where I 'belonged', which was extra tricky coz my friends all had such different upbringings.

But yeah, count myself lucky too that I've got a tight-knit group of adopted and fostered friends now. Having people who get you without needing any explanation is such a blessing! Life's good, and it's awesome hearing other people's stories and how they're doing too - so cool to see folks thriving!

 

[stargazer]

I'm an adoptee. Honestly, it's quite a mix feeling lah. On one side, I feel lucky 'cause my parents who adopted me are really nice and loving. They didn't have any kids yet so my mom especially, was very attentive and nurturing. She really doted on me. But it was also weird not knowing where I came from or why I ended up being adopted.

I remember being curious a lot of the time when I was younger, like there were some missing pieces to my identity that I couldn't quite grasp. Eventually, I did some digging and learned that my birth parents were really young and in a bad place financially to raise a kid. So they made the difficult choice to let me go. Knowing this helped me understand things better and I'm glad for the clarity, though it's still a bit sad of course.

I think growing up with some uncertainty and also being aware of how different my situation was from other kids' made me more introspective and observant. I became quite good at understanding people and situations, picking up on nuances and such. Also very grateful for what I have because I saw first-hand how precious stability and love are. So yeah, it's been quite the journey but I'm doing alright now!

 

[sportytina]

I've not been through adoption or foster care, but I know a thing or two about it cos got friends who went through these experiences. Not easy being separated from your parents and having to adjust to new ones - especially if you're older. But on the bright side, some of them found their fams thru adoption and that's really heartwarming. Their stories are quite amazing actually! One friend became part of a big, loving fam and the love and care they gave her was rly something special. She got lots of aunts and uncles who doted on her, and she had this super close bond with her new siblings too. But of course, it's not all rainbows and sunshine - adapting to new schools and adjusting to new environments was tough for some. And for those who aged out, starting adult life without that safety net was scary. Financial struggles and finding a sense of belonging were real challenges for them. Some also had issues with identity - especially those from multi-racial countries cos their appearance or name didn't "match" their adoptive parents. But all in all, they're doing pretty okay now!